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Posted by: Lonestar | 2007/11/27

To Blondie wrt Cheating

Hi Blondie,

Yes it is, but time is what you need to allow yourself. It hurts a lot. Sometimes similar things triggers a reaction from our side again and we're back to square one. It is not easy and the pain is terrible. Counselling does help, but you must also be willing to heal from inside. Been a year now and it is getting better, though it still hurts. Need to rebuild the trust and that is the hardest part. Because of our human nature we seek for things that is not there to kind of "punish" our partner. I was asked the other day why I am doing a certain thing and my answer was " I want him to experience the emotional pain I'm going through" Was I surprised with my answer...not quite.....

It is not easy, but allow yourself time to heal and be willing to forgive. Wish you all the best

LS

P.S. Hi CS, how're you doing ? It's been a while, but I'm coping, how are you doing ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Nice points, Lonestar ! One does have to be "willing to heal" and not everyone is indeed willing to let go of their hurts and move on.
As for me, "Coping" is probably accurate. Nice to hear from you again

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Our users say:
Posted by: Blondie | 2007/11/27

I think what makes me even more angry is that he lied to me for so long and DENIED IT . I was told by his sister and he still had the cheek to state that his sister was lying - only after me nearly breaking down did he confess . Perhaps we are all bracing ourselves for more heartache as one can never truly trust a man who has cheated on you.

Reply to Blondie
Posted by: Delilah | 2007/11/27

It is now two years since my husband ended his affair - and even now something will be mentioned, or I will see something that will trigger off the memory of the hurt and I will start to feel that hatred all over again. We have started to repair our marriage, it is not easy, the worst being not to be able to trust your spouse. When he says he has to work late, I immediately go into panic mode and check up on him, although he has been very considerate and has asked me to please come and sit at his office with him when he works late, just to prove that he is being faithful. Its a long hard road and I would suggest counselling, its good to talk to someone it helps with the healing. The only part that I cannot come to terms with is the other woman, she still sends him emails to invite him out, so I suppose she hasnt given up hope of continuing the affair. I dont know what my reaction would be if I met her face to face!

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