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Question
Posted by: $iren | 2004/11/04

TO BEYOND TIRED

Hi BT

Please do not take to heart the mean ness of people who do not understand the nature of BPD. We are very difficult people, we are drama queens, everything seems like a total crisis and the end of the world, we create chaos around us, we fail to see that the common thread in everything that goes wrong is US... But we are suffering from a disorder that prevents us from seeing clearly, our thinking and perceptions are distorted. What comes naturally to other people takes concentration and effort on our part, which they do not understand at all. Not that this excuses our behaviour. We need a good shrink who will teach us 1) how to analyse, rethink and reframe our thoughs and reactions and 2) teach us new coping mechanisms for when we spiral out of control.

I have long thought BPD describes you perfectly and was not shocked to see you finally diagnosed that way. The distorted thinking, the drama creation, the pessimism, the cutting, the substance abuse etc. all very normal for BPD people. Even over eating is common.

I want to share with you something that someone else with BPD wrote:

'I began to slowly spiral down and started feeling very distant from my co-workers and boss. I had this urge to just be by myself tonight... I really have a hard time explaining the feelings & behaviors to anyone because I can't pinpoint what I am feeling myself. It's like this overwhelming burden of having to be around people.. I just want to run and hide.

There is an idea that bpd may have some hereditary components, but this is always a difficult issue, as it is almost impossible to separate out nature from nurture. However, it appears there may be an underlying vulnerability in some people which predisposes them to develop bpd.

In an Australian researcher's opinion, an early disruptive environment in a child's life prevents the core of self from forming and developing it's own boundaries. This disruption can be abuse or much conflict and instability. The abuse can be verbal, emotional, sexual, physical or a combination. To this researcher, the self is an inner flow of thoughts, feelings, memories, fantasies etc, and in bpd people this is severely restricted or doesn't exist. Hence the ghastly, un-fillable emptiness and lack of ability to self soothe. He believes it can be helped with therapy over time."

The bad news is that its HARD WORK, constant work, constant vigilance and questioning of everything you think and feel and do and say... lots of apologising... But the good news is that it can be done, people have been cured, or at least come to a place of peace, and that symptoms seem to get less severe with age..

Also would like to direct you to two brilliant web sites:

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SOUL'S SELF-HELP CENTRAL
w w w soulselfhelp (dot) on (dot) ca
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Borderline Personality Editor
w w w (dot) suite101 (dot) com (slash) welcome (dot) cfm (slash) borderline_personality
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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You know, $iren, from your actually excellent description, I began to wonder if those silly American's haven't gone and elected a BPD for a second term in the White House ?
Anyhow, otherwise, excellent and useful comments, to which I'd just add that my own earlier reseaches and that of others suggest it's not only abuse in childhood that might contribute to this condition, but other traumas, such as disasters, major illnes or operations, etc.
Everyhing worthwhile needs hard work, BT and co --- and you are worthwhile

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: BT | 2004/11/04

Hi $iren,
Thanks so much for this, it even makes sense to me now. My shrink is teaching me method but as you said it is HARD WORK and he also said it will take time, but we are still in the beginning phases whereby he is explaining me to me, if that makes sense and I do see a lot of truth in it.
To everyone else, thanks for caring, I am sad today but okay, I know I will survive and get through this somehow, just wish it was quicker - I am not a patient person.

Reply to BT
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/04

Thanx so much $iren,

You have enlightened be quite a lot & your effort is very much appreciated, thank you.

Like Chelle, I also believe BT is a fighter, so I do have my faith in that girl to eventually come on top & be proud of her achievements & encounters in life. Basically I do have faith that BT will, with hard work between her & her new shrink, become conservatively satisfied with her position in life.

Thank you & may you have a great day,
Cheers,
Shaun

PS: BT, How are you holding up? I sent that e-kick, but somebody cut the call...

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/11/04

Thanks for this information. It puts a lot into perspective for me in understanding what it's like to have BPD.
I believe that Beyond Tired is a fighter, and she will only give in the towel for a short while, as even non-BPD people do sometimes. It's normal to want to run and hide when the going gets tough. We need time to regroup, and sort through all those emotions sometimes.
I do hope what you have written has helped her.
BT - if you read this, let us know how you're doing today.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/11/04

hi siren

thx for the info
like i always say, all of us is open to learn new things

it sounds like a terrible sickness but like you say with HARD WORK it can be overcome and that makes me really glad, i would hate to see anyone have some problem that can never be fixed

take care

nina

Reply to lady nina

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