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Question
Posted by: WhyWhyWhy | 2008/10/16

To all the women out there

Hi,

How often do u not reply to your bf' s/hubby' s sms when you are at work? Do you not reply at all coz you' re to busy to reply or do you sometimes don' t want to reply? Is this because you don' t love him enough to reply or coz you think its not important 2 reply?

How often do u not answer the phone when he calls? Do you not answer because you are busy? or because you don' t feel like speaking to him?

How often does dis happen? And does mean u don' t love him?

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Our expert says:
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Replying or not replying to an SMS has nothing whatsoever to do with Love. The mere fact that its technically possible to communicate doesn't mean it must be considered compulsory

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Snippie | 2008/10/17

If I read a few of your posts here, I must say that it looks like my hubby and I have a very good mutual understanding. I often miss his calls when I am at work or he misses mine, because we are both quite busy, so it happens easily. And if the one does not phone the other one back, then it is not such a big issue, because we usually then have the conversation later or tonight when we get home.

I don' t ignore his calls or sms' s (not that he send many) on purpose nor do I think he ignores mine, but it does happen often that we miss each others calls and we don' t make a big fuss about it.

When it is really urgent, we will try to phone the other one twice and if they don' t pick up the second time, then we just leave a message. So if I see that he called me, but he did not leave a message, then I will usually not go through too much trouble to call him back, because obviously it was not that urgent then.

And sometimes I send him lovey-dovey sms' s, but I really do not mind if he does not respond, becauseas Eva said above, I know that is not the " language"  he speaks. He does tell me often in person that he loves me and he is an absolute darling when it comes to pulling his weight at home. So when I do send him a lovey sms, it is just to tell him from my side and I certainly don' t expect anything back - if I do get a reply, then it is a bonus.

I think people often make too big a deal of cellphone communication. Before we had these necessary evils (like cellphones, voicemail and caller ID on all our phones), no one had these issues of their better half not returning calls or sms' s.

I think you should just relax, cause it is not worth stressing over such trivial things. If there are no other indication that there is something wrong with your relationship, then I am sure they are just very busy or not that big on sms' s or phone calls as you are.

I know it certainly does not bother me that much and I know it has nothing to do with how much we love each other.

Reply to Snippie
Posted by: MRS SMITH | 2008/10/17

it seem that the sms' s and the calls are not the problem.
you feel that your feelings are not reciprocated.
you really just want asurance that your partner loves you.
just because a person does not love you the way that you want them too it does not mean that they do not love you with all their heart.
you need some kind of responce for you to feel secure.
may be your partner does not love you but you will never know if you dont talk to them and let them know how you feel.
you sound like you are just not getting the emotional gap filled.
a relationship is more than just sms and phone calls that put you in a good mood.

Reply to MRS SMITH
Posted by: sideways | 2008/10/17

Seems needy to me. I think that you need this because you are evry unsatisfied in the relationship and you know that there is something seriously wrong. Why are you so insecure that you need your partner to always respond to your every sms? Especially when they are at work? Don' t get me wrong, I understand that occassionally it is nice to receive an sms for no reason or to have a response to a loving sms but it shouldn' t be such a major issue.

Reply to sideways
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/17

glad to hear it' s not only me with this problem, but, I have spoken to him and explained how I feel about it, and must admit, he is really trying..... he will now even pick up the phone and say I love you too, but let me now not reply one of his smses........ you can just imagine LOL :o)

Reply to anon
Posted by: Eva | 2008/10/17

Hey ladies, remember, guys aren' t really wired like us... They don' t think they have to send you an sms to show their love, they show it in other ways, like fixing your car, or helping you out with fixing stuff. Stuff like being sweet, like sending sms' es or writing nice emails doesn' t even cross their minds, (only in the start of a relationship maybe), because they don' t speak the same " love language"  as we do.

But i KNOW, oh i know it can be frustrating to us woman, cause how do we express our love? We tell them how much, send them nice sms' es and shower them with love, so that' s how we expect it back, cause that' s our " love language" . And when they don' t show their love like this in return, then we think something' s up.... Just cause we speak different languages

Reply to Eva
Posted by: T | 2008/10/17

HI Anon

I totally agree with you. I do the same or even send email then i don' t get a reply. Like just last week i sent an sms and about 3 hours later i had to call him for something and had to ask him if he got my email he said yes. u know what he replied with, which pissed me off so badly " Likewise"  instead of saying I Love U too... no he says " likewise" . I am always the one sending or emailing, but i' ve decided to stop it coz i feel really shitty if i don t get a reply either way.

Reply to T
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/17

I hate it if I send my hubby a sms telling him how much I love him, and he does not reply... with him I know sometimes he really cant as he works on a construction site, but when you send that sms, sometimes you just need to know he loves you too....

Reply to anon
Posted by: v | 2008/10/17

I awnser all the sms' ses my husband sends me... then it goes both ways.... Is there a time when u ignorerd an smsm from her that u didn' t reply 2? people have meetings at work and can' t awnser phone' s etc.... but then again she can tell u that she is busy and will contact u later or see u tonight....

Reply to v
Posted by: N | 2008/10/17

HI,

Well if my B/F is this needy then hell yeah I will not reply. I am not there to stroke a ego if I am busy he can wait till later. That doesn' t mean that I do not love him like CS said it has nothing to do with love. Just that if you get a sms 20 times a day from a b/f then it gets a bit much then it is understandable that a reply will not always follow.


Reply to N
Posted by: Vegan | 2008/10/16

Hmmm...I dunno...if you love someone and find them mentally stimulating you crave communication with them, don' t u?

I agree that it' s very frustrating not to have your efforts reciprocated :(

Reply to Vegan

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