Our expert says:
Actually, I think there are several questions packed in that short message, aren't there ? How im portant is sex in a relationship ? Well, that's a very personal issue --- for some people, it's central to the relationship, for many its a very nice part of it, for some its relatively unimportant. And because we all vary in the extent and nature of our libido and sexual desire, this is an area where it is convenient for both partners within a relationship to be compatible. Now compatible isn't identical, but both being able to understand and accomodate the other.
But you also seem to be asking about your partner who seems to have a relatively low libido and less interest in sex. This could be simply a naturally lower libido or one lowered by Depression or stress, or maybe he has some form of sexual difficulty, such as erection problems, which can be greatly improved with help from a shrink. Both aspects can easily be impaired by smoking and drinking ; by smoking perhaps in the longer term, as even a one-night drunk can be interested in sex but incapable of performing.
ALl of us, men especially, feel shy and awkward about any sort of sexual problem --- talking this over calmly and comfortingly with him could help in himself, and when you understand what is reducing his interest, he could get help for that, for the benefit of both of you
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