Posted by: dw | 2012/12/11

tired of all this!

I have lost the will to fight anymore in my relationship. We used to fight non stop and now Im just tired of it. Is this a phase or is it time to part. I realise I am not a priority in his life and he takes me for granted. I have raised this with him, but he sees me as to blame for everything. He blames my anxiety, my sense of expectency, my negativity, takes accountabillity for nothing. I want to change this view of his, but the way I am doing it by having my opinion just leads to hectic fights. I am now staying quiet....he can do all the work. Is it time to call it quits?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What has been the point of continuing to labour at a relationship that includes non-stop fighting and seems to bring no joy ? He sounds highly negative and not prepared to take any responsibility for anything. You won't succeed in changing his attitude. Isn't it long past the time for you to move on, and seek a more fulfilling relationship ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2012/12/11

Sounds like it was time to call it quits a long time ago. If someone blames others for everything, without taking accountability for anything they''ve done, it''s VERY difficult to change their attitude. And why should they change their attitude? It''s the other persons'' ''fault'' after all! It''s a nasty circle. The very attitude that you''re trying to change, actively prevents your partner from changing his attitude!

I really don''t know why people want to change the personality of their partner. If the partner doesn''t have the personality you want them to, why be in a relationship at all? If more people chose partners who''s personality complements their own, the divorce rate would plummet. People shouldn''t hang on to a relationship just because they''re scared of being alone. Being alone can actually be very empowering...

Good Luck,

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