Our expert says:
Divorce support expert
thank you for your post.
A divorce/separation is always traumatic for both parties concerned. Even if, like you, the parting was agreed mutually, there is nonetheless a loss which needs to be mourned.
Don't be hard on yourself. Even if you were incompatible, 9 years is quite a long time spent together which had it's share of good moments. This is what is feeding the "what could have been".
It's important to be appreciative of those good memories. There is no need to dismiss them but don't hang to them in a way that doesn't allow you to move forward.
This is not a break up point in your life but a change of direction.
Take time to feel your feelings but recognise that you are the creator of your life.
Do speak your feelings, accept what is and make decisions about your future.
I have posted a separate post on Successful Strategies for coping with Divorce.
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