Posted by: Lana | 2006/04/16

Tiener seun het drank probleem

Ek is ’n enkel ma met drie kinders waarvan die middelste ’n seun. Die oudste en jongste is dogters. My seun is 15 jaar oud. Hy word volgende maand 16. Hy doen baie goed in sport, op skool en gym elke dag. Ek bied hom soveel vryheid as moontlik. Daarmee bedoel ek hy kuier gereeld saam met vriende, oornag elke Vrydagaand by sy oupa en ouma, speel golf vir die plaaslike golfklub. Die laaste tyd kuier hy baie saam met vriende (skoolmaats) van sy ouderdom en ouer as hy. Dan drink hulle. Hy drink elke keer te veel, is dan dronk en word naar. Ek het al soveel maal vir hom "gecover'. Maar ek kan nie meer nie. Hy is besig om sy lewe weg te gooi en ek weet nie hoe om hom te help nie. Ek kan hom nie net los nie. Sy oupagrootjie was ’n alkolis, sy eie pa is een en sy ouma (my ma). Ek geniet ’n drankie maar net per geleentheid, omdat ek in ’n huis groot geword het waar alkohol misbruik word het ek myself belowe ek sal dit nooit aan my kinders doen nie. Help my asb. Ek weet nie wat om te doen nie.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Whilst many young people do experiment with substances including alcohol, if he is drinking to excess frequently then the potential for a substance abuse problem is very real. Given the history of alcoholism in the family he is also genetically predisposed to addiction.

The first action you need to take is to speak with him about your concerns and if he is not prepared to listen then you may need to use consequences – if he comes home in that state again then he is grounded for example. Hopefully you will have the opportunity to explain to him why you have such concerns about alcohol.

If he will not listen to you then you should also consider getting professional assistance. I do not know where you are in SA but one useful resource is Cape Town Drug Counselling Centre and their number is 021 447 8026. If you do not live in CT they may be able to inform you of your nearest resource.

So consider the frequency of these events and try and talk to your son about these issues, and from that position you can begin to make choices about how you can help him. Importantly you must stop covering for him – this only allows the problem to continue because there are then no consequences. If something goes wrong because of his drinking then let him take the consequences. Sometimes a tough love approach is needed, and at 16 he really needs to begin to take responsibility for his actions.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: James | 2006/04/19

hey Lana

ek kan jo Afr-Deutch verstaan ma eks 17 jaar oud en ek weil net vir jou se mut nie TE bekomerd wees nie want dis ma hoe seuns is alle hoerskool seuns dink en word dronk ma as hy opgooi dan is dit dalk biekie ver ma ASB tanie moet nie so erg wory nie so teen st9-Matrik sal snaak ok nie meer snaaks wees nie


Reply to James
Posted by: Lana | 2006/04/18

No, I'm not talking deutch. It's afrikaans. Thanx anyway for the help and yes you did understand correctly. I will keep an eye on my son and will follow your advice. There is no way I'm loosing him to alcohol.

Reply to Lana
Posted by: Anonymous | 2006/04/17

In order for anyone to give you good advice, you need to be able to put your message in English. But I think I know what you are saying. I think you are saying that your 15 year old son has a drinking problem. It sounds as if you are speaking Deutch(dutch)

If my guess is correct, then you need to destroy any alcohol in your house that you have now and not let him hang around anyone you think might be the one who is being a bad influence on him. If his drinking gets worse, then I suggest doing something that will have an impact on him, like take him to one of those Drinkers Anonymous meetings to let him listen to people with the same problem, to show him what could happen if he doesn't stop.If it gets even worser, put him in a step program to get him to quit.

Reply to Anonymous

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.