Posted by: illeanna | 2008/08/04

Thought men enjoy pursuing a woman

What do you do when you suspect that your guy has become a little complacent in the relationship?

Men are supposed to be the " hunters" , right? I thought that backing off would help - I' ve been seeing my boyfriend less and contacting him less for about a week, but this doesn' t seem to have alerted him or made him pull up his socks.

The affection is still lacking and the surprise gifts, well..they were never there. Does this guy just need a kick out the door?

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Our expert says:
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Maria, as ever, puts her finger on the essential point here. Some men are indeed insensitive and dof clods, but too many women expect the man to be a mind-reader / clairvoyant, and complain that he doesn't respond to needs they have never actually communicated to him. "He just ought to know that I want that !" they wail. There's no Ought about it. Tell him, pleasantly. And check out whether you know what he wants, too.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2008/08/06

Same here, you don' t sound overly needy to me. If the guy is not meeting your needs and you are not expecting anything unrealistic, you have to wonder if it' s worth sticking around. If you want to give it a go, maybe some relationship counselling?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Same here | 2008/08/05

I am in the same situation. I have told him what I like, " what melts my heart"  as I put it - and well, I am still not getting it. He won' t say why he can' t do it, he just says " I will try but I can' t promise" .

And I am talking about things like: call me once a week just to say hi, kiss me before you go for third base, buy me a chocolate once in a while, seduce me before you go for third base, and do tell me you love me more than once in six months.... Is that too much to ask.

I am actually stuck between not knowing if he is just not into me or am I too needy. And that is why I haven' t left him coz I am not sure if I am too needy or reasonable. Where is the line????

Reply to Same here
Posted by: Maria | 2008/08/04

You are assuming that he knows what you want. Perhaps communicating with him more, rather than less, will help?

Reply to Maria

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