Posted by: don't know what to do | 2004/02/24

This guy is playing with my mind

I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. And yesterday, I tried to call him but the number no longer existed. So I had no clue on how to get hold of his number. So I got someone to phone his mother and ask her for his number. But this lady pretended to be from a clothing atore enquiring about his account, so his mother would not ge suspicious. Then this lady phoned him to see if the number was his and also pretended to be from the clothing store just imcase his mother told him that someone was looking for him. Then later on I phoned him and asked him why he did not give me his new number. He told me that nobody has his number and that he gave it to nobody and and that included me. He spoke to his mother and she told him about the call and I denied it. She would not have given the number to me in any case, so I had to lie. He said that he never wants to talk to me because I won't tell him where I got the number from. When I used to ask him questions, he would not answer me but he can't understand why I won't tell him where I got his number from. He said that I am playing mind gamee with him and I always have to make trouble like this. But if he had given me his number in the first place, then I would not have gone behind his back. And why does he want to change his number and not want me to have it? I had to get hold of his number coz he owes money on some accounts and they are phoning me because they can't get hold of him. But why is he playing games like this? If he wanted me to have his number then why would he get so cross coz I got hold of the number. I refuse to tell him how I got the number and he started swearing at me. So I told him that I got somebody to get the number for me and that don't know who the person is. I said that I paid someone to get the number for me. He did not beleive me at first but now he wants those peoples phone number. Now he says that I have just dug myself into a huge hole of trouble and I as well as the "other" people are gonna be in big trouble. Was I wrong to try and get his number? Can I really get into trouble? Why does he not want me to know his new phone number? Please help.

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Our expert says:
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dkwtd --- if you broke up with him, why SHOULD he give you his new number ? And why would you want it ? There's no point in trying to be broken up and not broken up, at the same time. Breaking up is supposed to mean that the relationship is OVER, and it certainly sounds as if that is how he wants it to be. Why not face facts, and accept that it is over, and leave him alone ? Make a fresh start, and enjoy life without him, for surely he is not necessary for you to live happilly ever after.
Could you be in trouble for obtaining his new number ? I guess that's really a legal question, but I doubt it. The lousy legal system here can hardly cope with cases of murder and rape, surely they shouldn't waste time on anything so trivial.

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Our users say:
Posted by: LP | 2004/02/24

if your problem is the money why do you write a novel about him playing mind games with the phone number?

make up your mind!

seems like you want to keep in touch with him, and are using the gym thing as an excuse. the gym thing is valid for sure, but your original rant and rave was about him, his number and the game he is playing.

move on. he is not interested in you. and oh yes, make an arrangement with the gym people, they are nicer than you think.

Reply to LP
Posted by: don't know what to do | 2004/02/24

The only reason why I need to get hold of him is because we opened a gym contract together and it was put on his name. The money for both of us gets taken off of his account and then I would pay the money back to him. The gym phoned me and said that he has not made any of those payments and now I am going to be blacklisted because he did not pay the accounts when we were still together. I will make my own payments from now on but I am not prepared to pay all the months that have passed by,especially if I have already paid my dues.

Reply to don't know what to do
Posted by: Get over it | 2004/02/24

hi!girl dificult as it might br get over it move on.This guy does not want ot speak ot you it is clear.Get a life stop irritating the poor guy and keep your's OVER

Reply to Get over it
Posted by: Soul | 2004/02/24


If people have been phoning you with regards to his accounts why didn't you just give them his mother's number so they could reach him through her.

He obviously wants to move on with his life without you and by the sounds of it your badgering him, I honestly don't blame him for getting so upset with you.
He changed his number for a reason so you would get in touch with him.
Leave him alone and move on with your life. And in future if someone is looking for him you can tell them that you don't know where he is.

Get on with your life.

Reply to Soul
Posted by: flower | 2004/02/24

I agree with the doc, move on. You must still feel something for this guy because we can see your not thinking clearly. If he didn't want you to have the number then that means he wants to call it quits and not stay in contact with you, which some ppl do after breaking up. Stop calling him no matter how much pain your feeling, try and focus your energy on something more positive. And if ppl call you to get in contact with him, just tell them to stop calling you and give his mothers number or something, but for goodness sake, leave this man alone.

Time heals everything, hang in there.

Reply to flower

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