Posted by: 555 | 2004/11/22

This 1 is 4 d ladies (From woman to woman)

Stop believing that every man loves you simply because he says he does. When it's convenient for him, he acts like he does. Awards are given every year for the best actor/actress award. Just add his name to the nominations.

Stop believing that you can change him... You can't. He has to change and want to change first and foremost.

Stop thinking that because you caught him in a major lie and he cried and told you how much he loves you that he won't do it again, because he will.

Stop trying to catch your man cheating when you know when you do catch him, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIM ANYWAY. So what's the purpose in knowing? At least ignorance truly is bliss.

Stop busting out all the windows in his damn car just because you caught him cheating AGAIN. You're going to stay with him and now you have to drive him around until he gets his car fixed. Or you will end up "loaning" him the money to get it fixed, or helping him put plastic up to the windows until they are fixed.

Stop lying to your girls about how wonderful he is. We already know he ain't nothing. More than likely he's already pushed up on one of them, but for your sake we keep quiet. If he's so wonderful we will see that even if you never say a word.

Stop lying to yourself about how wonderful he is. Accept the fact that you love his trifling behind and keep it moving.

Stop believing he's going to leave his wife for you. She's the wife for a reason and you're the other woman for a reason.

Stop thinking that he's going to make you his wife. So what you've been with him 2,3,4,5 or more years. Once he's done playing with you he will take the next woman that he's dating and make her his wife in 6 months to a year, while you've wasted how many years trying to get wifey status? While you're doing so much for him trying to please him, he's doing all the things you wish he would do with another.

Every time you take him back after you've caught him lying and cheating, he loses more respect for you. Get caught lying or cheating once and see how quick he leaves you without even considering taking you back, and have you replaced before you finish begging his forgiveness!

Stop thinking that because the brother has money he's going to spend it on you. Get your own money then it won't matter if he does or doesn't.

Stop thinking you're the main woman when if you really looked at all the signs and signals you would realize you're the other woman.

Stop introducing every joker you meet to your kids. Even your kids will stop respecting you eventually.

Stop giving more of yourself to a man than he's willing to give to you. And for goodness sake quit believing his lies of being hurt before so now he's afraid to trust again, which is why he just can't give of himself.

Once again the best actor award goes to........

Alright ladies very important.... Stop just taking him at his word when he gives you some fantasy tale. Every now and then ask for proof. Be careful of the smoke screen that he will hit you with. He will catch an attitude, act insulted, might even pretend to be mad. It's all a smoke screen after all the theatrics still insist on the proof. For example, he hasn't called in 3 days because he was on the moon for work. A'ight. Insist on seeing something from the moon.

Men will not respect us if we don't respect ourselves. They will use us up. They will tell us all we need to hear and feed on every insecurity and low self-esteem issue we've ever had, just to get what they want when they want it. Those are not the women they make their wives. Those are not the women they respect.



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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well worth re-reading and thinking about, and as Shaun says, it actually applies to people of all genders.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shazz | 2004/11/22

Hey 555, man you can certainly give a girl something to think about and as i though about it i realised that you were right. I have been there, done that and not even realised it. There are some really nice guys out there, but the real mission is finding them. I think that we girls get taken for a ride too many times, where are all the decent guys who will care for us for who we really are, not for what they want us to be??

I think that I have learnt from past experience, but man it was a really hard lesson to learn and not one that i have to want to repeat

Reply to Shazz
Posted by: 555 | 2004/11/22

Alright guys, i agree with you. This works on both ways. I am taking it from a woman point of view. I know that not all mean are the same, and i know that there are worse women than men out there!

Believe you me, i thought i will never allow myself to be in love cos of the past. But when i did, i find it unfair to the other party cos he hasn't done anything to me, so i just let go of the past. But one thing, i have the experience and have learnt from the past.

Sorry guys, i didnt mean to doubt you! I know there are honest people out there. Thanx for reminding me!

Reply to 555
Posted by: NLM | 2004/11/22

Like Shaun i apologise for jumping on this wagon whilst being a male. It's very sad to read through the lines that you as a woman had a tough time with men. Yes, you are correct in your statement, but remember one thing and that is that as CS said, it applies to all genders and secondly, you never ever can apply your experience to life and qoate it as a fact and label ALL men.

Secondly i think its very sad to wake up in the morning, getting out of bed with such a NEGATIVE attitude towards people. Somewhere in your life you will have to surround yourself with trustworthy successfull individuals of all genders so that you can start to have a mind change and i can assure you, you will yourself become a better positive person.

I'm convinced that you are a very good person and all you need is to meet an honest gentlemen that will appreciate you as a person. Strongs and good luck

Reply to NLM
Posted by: Dude | 2004/11/22

Hi there...

maybe what you said is true in some cases its more oftent than not a social norm that u referin to... guess that's why cheeters on channel 42 is so popular... and Jerry of coarse...

anyway... the context that you have put men in here isn't anything like myself being a straight man... with a fasionalble sence... hense the word Dude...

and being a Dude... I would just ask that ladies be themselves... give as much as they take and accept that although men and women are different they are still very very much the same...

I'm sorry you were lyed to and what seems to be taken for the ride of your life... I only hope that it was worth living at the time and what you are left with is positive, best of luck finding that diamond in the coal... its not how big your drill is but how u burrow ;)


Reply to Dude
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/22

Hi 555,

Sorry I'm male, but I had to add my 2 cents. What you said aboveis very true..

When it gets down to the nitty-gritty of it all, it is only our fault for allowing ourselves to be treated in such a way. As the saying often goes, becareful what you wish for...

Things is if we often think infedilities, jealousy, unhappiness, playing the field, we unintentionally may just drive our partner to do exact that. I mean he's being blamed for it anyway so why not do it!!!

Sorry for butting into your women's chat but I just had to.

PS: Major point to consider; it works both ways!!!

Reply to Shaun

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