Posted by: Pencil | 2005/12/05

the weekend...

...was an eye-opener. and i think i know what to do now. bf ignored me friday night, but i went out and had a great time with family. saturday he ignored me, and i left it - until i started wondering why he doesn't make contact with me at all. i mean.. i also need time to think sometimes, but then i at least sms him to say that i do love him etc. so.. i sms'd him, just to hear how he's doing. on which he replied that he needs time to think (which i was AWARE of) - anyway. to make a long story short... he started sms'ing me again later that afternoon, then he phoned me, when off in my ear for about 45 min (could hear he must've had a few beers - & decided to keep quiet) - then, in the midst of this conversation, made my decision.

this is going to be a great festive season. we are going to spend christmas together, as well as new years eve, even go away for a while, if possible, BUT - i must get out of this relationship. because i can't marry this guy. so early next year i'm going to make one of my dreams come true - and fly away to europe. a family member is planning to go early next year... perfect opportunity to go. i'm going to quit my job.. quit my relationship and follow my dreams. it's going to be tough as hell at first - i know that and i fear that, in a way.. but at the same time it's going to be exciting. NO - it's not running away - it's starting over. for as long or as short as it's going to take me...

(allow me to add that i saw him later that evening, and he had the oddassity to invite bad friend (with a new girl?) over - i was forced to spend most of the evening in their company - something i would never, ever choose to do, and bf knows it... yet he forces me. and what did i do? i smiled.. played the friendly hostess. this made the decision so much easier....)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Interesting and bold decision --- I hope it works out really well. YOu really do deserve someone who isn't more firmly attached to bad friends than to you. You handled it well and with class, and as you say, the eent helped you to clarify your decision.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/05

It's good to hear you made a decision... and what I want to say is done because I care... not because I want to rain on your parade at all....

you're not facing up to this man... you've found a way out of the relationship by making the decision to go overseas and follow your dreams... but why exactly are you spending the festive season with him when he disregards your feelings, when you end up being forced to spend time with people you don't want to associate with?

I don't think you're being totally honest with yourself... you need to stand up for yourself in this relatonship and if you're going to break up with him, then let it be for the reasons you're frustrated - not because you;ve decided to go overseas... I don't know... I just see you forsaking things which are important enough to you to express your concerns on the forum, but somehow you don't fully stand up to your boyfriend............. You need to learn to ask for what you want... to issue ultimatums... and mean them... and act in YOUR best interests...

I hope following your dream will bring you much happiness.. it's an awesome thing to do... lots of luck!! ..........

Reply to ...
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/12/05

What exciting and liberating news! Good for you Pencil, I'm sorry things didn't work out with bf, but there are bigger things waiting for you. All the very best!!!

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/05

Hi Pencil

I must say you sound a lot better......You have taken the first step to see that this relationship is going nowhere and you are starting to except it...My friend had a terrible brake up and she left for Europe and it was the best thing that sy could have done. I think that you won't be sorry if you dump this guy (sorry don't meen to sound rude). You sound like a very caring and loveable person and you will get somebody that will appreciate you and love you. Good luck

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