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Question
Posted by: Jackadeejack | 2005/05/29

The ups and downs of telling ur parents something

Ok, BEFORE you respond, read carefully - then write.

My dads worst nightmare is skydiving (jumping out of a plane). He and my mom are a bit conservative and from the old age (current age: 50)
Last year I told them I want to skydive, they completely lost it. They reacted in a way I couldnt even imagine.

So now, I'm skydiving - the best thing that could prolly ever have happened to me.

After 7 great jumps, I'm wonderring wheather I should tell them.

From my point of view the following ups and downs exists:

Telling them UPS:
- They know about it
- They will start to realise that I'm not 13 anymore.

The downs:
- They will give me hours of speaches
- They will worry themselfs sick each time I'm going
- They will want to go with me and will NOT like the people there (the people there are much more open minded)

NOT Telling them UPS:
- They dont have to worry and all live in peace

Downs:
- I lie
- I cant cover it up forever
- it is unresposible

So, now for your opinions. Dont just tell me, "tell ur parents"... give reasons. pleeeezzzzz. And think about it. I really though and came to the conclusion that not telling them would be best for them.

Opinions?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Nice summary of the pro's and con's. But I can't decide for you. Joanne E identifies the missing issue in your summary --- the likelihood that if you don't tell them , they will still find out, which will raise the whole issue of deception to what they'd complain about. And lulu's analysis is penetrating.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: desperado | 2005/05/30

Gee Whizzzz you are 21 ???? You are legally allowed to do whatever you want to do and when.

If you pay for it what is the problem? Just tell them about your new hobbie (like by the way so I started sky dyving and it's lots of fun) If they don't like it tough then just lay low for a while they'll get over it

I'm now 23 and a girl I had the same problems. One stage thought my dad will kill me if he find out what I'm doing and ivolved in and yes he was cross but now 2 years later we know where we stand with each other

It's not like you are still in school and have to sneak out or something??

Reply to desperado
Posted by: Jackadeejack | 2005/05/30

1: They will go allong to c I'm safe, but will socialize with other ppl too. They will after about 1h classify the other ppl as lower life of some sorts and then use that as a reason to discourage me.
2: Their opinion in this case is subjective (as is mine in some ways). The problem is that they will see all the things that can go wrong (as with rugby,action cricket etc etc).

3: The rest of the family basically knows and is very excited, but after previous experiences I vote for witholding information. In the past I told them(parents) when I go to truth, then they would lie awake all night for my return, give me speeches etc etc. So now I tell them I go to a friend (which I do), and then without telling them, we go to truth. Have a good time (without drugs), and they dont worry anymore.

Thus, though I would like them involved in this, I think it would be best for them not to know.

If they were more objective regarding this, I would tell them.

Doc?

Reply to Jackadeejack
Posted by: lulu | 2005/05/30

OK, I HAVE to psycho-analyse your posting for you, just so you can see what you wrote:

>Ok, BEFORE you respond, read carefully - then write.
You were expecting ppl to not reply what you want to hear...

>My dads worst nightmare is skydiving
So then he shouldn't do it.

>Last year I told them I want to skydive, they completely lost it.
You've run this past them already, they didn't want you to do it, yet you went ahead and did it anyway. Does that not sound like a naughty child?

>So now, I'm skydiving - the best thing that could prolly ever have happened to me.
OK, you enjoy it. If it's so beneficial though, why should your parents object?

>- They will start to realise that I'm not 13 anymore.
If you want them to treat you like your not 13 anymore, you should start acting like you're not 13 anymore.

>- They will give me hours of speaches
Which you obviously don't even listen to! Boils down to respect in the end. How can you expect your parents to respect your wishes if you see the voicing of their wishes as "hours of speaches"?

>- They will worry themselfs sick each time I'm going
As opposed to them not worrying about you at all? Personally I would rather have someone care enough about me to worry about me too.

>- They will want to go with me and will NOT like the people there (the people there are much more open minded)
Says who? How can you already know that they WILL NOT like the ppl at your club? Besides, will they want to go with you to socialise with your friends or to reassure themselves that you are safe when you jump?

My opinion: You should speak to your parents about it. If you only work part time, they obviously still provide for you as in a roof over your head and food in your tummy. They deserve the respect and honesty that goes along with that.

Also, I agree with Joanne E about them finding out later. Or even worse, something happens to you and they find out you've been lying and living this double life.

Would you like them keeping information from you?

Reply to lulu
Posted by: Jackadeejack | 2005/05/30

I'm 21... and yes.. I'm paying (working parttime)

Reply to Jackadeejack
Posted by: AngelEyes | 2005/05/30

Hi Jack, I'm not sure how old you are or who's paying but you are obviously old enough to sky dive and you can afford it.

My parents are also old-school but I know that telling the truth isn't as bad as you expect. Worst case scenario? They flip out and disown you. Highly unlikely and if they flip out - I doubt it will last very long - it would just need to sink in.

My advice: tell your folks - it will put your mind at ease. If you have done 7 jumps and you are still alive - it's proof that you can survive sky diving. I also think it's better that your parents know what you do - incase you DO have have an accident. They have a right to know if thier son is ok. I suggest you take the plunge! Good luck!

Reply to AngelEyes
Posted by: Joanne E | 2005/05/30

well just think what will happen if you don't tell them and they find out anyway - then you will get even more of a grilling

Reply to Joanne E

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