Posted by: KG | 2004/10/14

The Truth


Is it important to tell the truth even if you know it will hurt the person you love and care about the most, would you tell the truth knowing it will destroy lives, what are chances that you will be at peace with yourself?

Please I need advice urgently!

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Our expert says:
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Dear KG,
I am uneasy about replying definitely to questions posed in such vague and general terms. Much depends on the circumstances, on what you mean by "truth", how it would "destroy lives", and so on.
But here are some general thoughts.
Lying is difficult, for most of us ; to sound convincing, and to remember exactly how you lied about it last time.
As Q points out, the wounds caused when someone discovers the nasty truth PLUS the fact that you lied to them, are usually worse than those caused by the truth alone.
I believe it is better to concentrate on choosing HOW to tell the truth, rather than IF. As BT says, it almost always comes out in the end, anyhow, at least hen you choose to tell it, you have more control over the timing and wording of it.
And we are not, I suppose, talking about so-called "white lies". When someone invites a comment on their ugly baby or dreadful new dress, they usually don't want the truth.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/10/14

Your question needs to be more specific. What kind of truth of we talking about here? In general I agree that the truth should be told, but sometimes this can be taken too far. You haveto realise that truth is sometimes subjective. Even though people don't often see this.
One also has to think about how to tell this truth as well. Sometimes the manner in which the truth is told can minimise the negative impact.
There are times when hiding or delaying telling the truth is beneficial for all parties concerned. The person's intention who knows this truth and the reasons for not sharing the truth are for me more important.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/14

The truth always comes out, thus I sincerely believe no matter what the cost is, whether it causes pain and hurt, rather always be truthful but a person can tell the truth with tact so that the impact is not that hard to take (if this makes sense).

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: Q | 2004/10/14

There is a saying that says the truth will set you free, but that does not mean that it will not hurt or destroy lives. But usually the wounds heal better and quicker because of truth because if someone finds out that you lied about it the hurt goes deaper and takes much longer to heal and you never but never get rid of the guilt!!!!

Reply to Q

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