Posted by: Dee | 2009/04/28

THE - in-laws - ..........

Dear Doc,

My husband is always choosing his family above me eventhough he can not live with out me......
How can I tell him that if he does not stop putting his family first he will loose me with out it ending up in a big fight?

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Our expert says:
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Talk to him calmly, aty a good time ( that is, not when there's already a fight vrewing or tension about ) and talk about how it makes you feel, and rather than declaring the problem in absolutes : "You always choose your family above me", say it more like --- you know ehwn you do XXX, and YYY, like the other week, it makes me feel as though you will always choose your family over me, and that makes me feel sad and neglected ( or whatever ). He may argue that he has no intention to choose them over you, but when you talk about specific behaviours, things he does, and link it to how it makes you feel, even if that is not his intention, it's easier for him to pay attention, and not see it as a severe criticism of HIM himself, or of his family
Any chance of luring him into marriage counselling ?

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