Our expert says:
Actually, there's so much talk of forgiveness, without most people ever being clear about that it actually means for them. Around the time of the TRC I grew really angry about all the amateur theologians who insisted every victim had some sort of duty to forgive, however badly they'd been hurt, and however unrepentant their perpetrator was. And all these smug lectures on Forgiveness were coming from people who had never ever had anything significant to forgive, in their lives.
I suppose what is meant by the forgive bu not forget concept, is that you might forgive someone who shoplifted in your store, in the sense o not holding any bitter grudge against them, but maybe you wouldn't leave them alone in the store and not under observation, again. Forgiveness must not mean an open season for predators to offend and attack again.
Maybe it is, indeed, time to let go. In some ways, if you have to work hard to hang on, then it's actually over already.
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