Posted by: Anon | 2009/07/09

The Ex Wife

My fiance has been divorced for over 10years now. From what I know and what he tells me is that the only relationship they have is that which exists only because of the two kids they share (one both their biological son and the other, her child that she had before she married him).

Is it okay for the ex wife to still come to my fiance' s home if there is a death in the family and behave as if she is still part of the family?

NB: They were only married for about 2 years before she cheated on him and got pregnant with another man' s child and he filed for divorce.

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Our expert says:
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This is primarily a question ofmetiquette, rather than psychiatry. I would think that surly it'd be considered OK for her to come to the home of her Ex, with whom she shares two kids, following a death in her family. Presumably the death affects him and the children as well. Do you think she is somehow taing advantage of the tragedy ? It's hardly likely that she's killing off family members just to have an excuse for intruding in your family, surely ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: A | 2009/07/09

It depends on her relationship with his family and the dead person. If there is death in the family I don' t think this is the time to be jealous or insecure.

Reply to A
Posted by: Liza | 2009/07/09

Sometimes divorcing your partner does not mean you' re divorcing from their family as well. I would be very unhappy if my ex-husband tried to keep me away from e.g. a funeral in his family if it affects our sons. I would want to be there to support them. And if our boys were with me and there happened to be a death in my family, I would appreciate it if ex-husband decided to pitch up and helped support the children with their loss.

Just my view from the dark side of the force  )


Reply to Liza

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