Our expert says:
Hi Paul, <br>Gosh, long, loooong memories. Sad, isn't it, that some people just have very much less interest in fixing things than others ? Whether it's household tasks or relationship tasks. The situation you describe must, indeed, be very painful for you, probably much more so than she realizes. You DO have the strength to get through this ; you've demonstrated that strength before. We don't lose that strength, though sometimes, temporarily, we may lost the motivation to summon that strength and use it usefully. Sorry you feel so wasted, but I'm really pleased if this has prevented self-injury. Survive --- it has been very clear over the years that your strengths and sheer goodness can be very valuable to many other people, and should also be deservedly helpful to you. Don't trap yourself within declarations like "nothing left to live for" --- it may feel that way, but in fact there may now be much more to live for. Sometimes we look for love in the wrong places, and maybe you visited the wrong place more than once --- but you can still find it, if you look elsewhere, if the counselling fails to heal this relationship. If she is not participating sincerely in couples counselling, it may be better to invest rather in individual counselling for you, yourself, to promote your own deserved healing.
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