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Question
Posted by: CP MOM | 2007/05/30

The End.

Dear CS, how are you ? Of course I'm shit whats new ?

I've been ignored since I was hit and kicked, he won't talk to me (what's new?).

I sms'd him that Im done here nothing I can do or try anymore and that last klap WAS THE LAST KLAP.

I am going away this weekend and I'll be moving out asap.

He sms'd that Im free to use any of the shops bakkies and he'll even loan me the deposit.

That's that then....Im relieved in one way and look forward to not comming home to 3 kids that in 2 years i've not been able to teach manners etc not to do homework, not to wait till 8.30 + for him to come home or not depending on the drunk friends stuck at the shop. Relieved that I'll not spend my nights waiting like a little puppy dog for the crumbs. I can't handle his working 7days a week and his refusal to get someone and and and

So why am I so terribly hurt and sad and crying without being able to stop?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If ending it doesn't hurt, then it was never a real relationship anyway. Maybe your expectations were rather too high, and you sat in a situation that did not truly satisfy you, and expected changes that were really not going to happen ; and nagging for them probably only exaggerated the bits that did not fit properly.
As Chelle says, much of the hurt is for the loss of what you hoped for, more than for losing what you actually had.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: \pop | 2007/05/30

I agree so true

Reply to \pop
Posted by: Earl | 2007/05/30

Karma is a strange phenomenon .... everty 1 gets exactlty what they deserve in da end ....

Reply to Earl
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/05/30

While you were in that situation, you still had hope that things would change. That's what kept you there. And when there is hope, even in the darkest times, that can get you through so much.

The hope is no longer there in respect of your relationship. You're facing the reality - that your hope was in vain, and that things didn't change. And this is painful. It's painful to finally accept that the man you thought loved you, and the man you thought you knew was someone different.

Part of you might feel like you have failed - and I'm sure there is a certain amount of attachment to his children after all this time.

You've lost a lot and it's natural to be sad. And then there is the feeling of being alone too - and knowing that you have work to do to get back to being fully independent again. So, no matter the circumstances - it's natural that you'll be grieving about all these things.

The important thing though, is to look forward and concentrate on the positive things that are to come, and even more importantly, to take some time to reflect, and really understand how you came to be in this situation, and learn from it. Then use that knowledge for the future, in a positive way.

Best wishes!

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/05/30

CP Mom, ending ANY relationship, whether it was good or abusive is always traumatic and crying is natural, and therapeutic, so let it out.

So G is happy, even offering to let you use one of his bakkies? This is clearly what he wanted too! But if he comes back with beautiful promises this time, don't fall for it!!!

Once you're out of the house, things will become easier I'm sure.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: mantis | 2007/05/30

i am at the end of a relationship too. got to leave but it HURTS like hell. wish i was dead.

age 43 and never loved anyone like this before.

Reply to mantis

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