Posted by: Juzlisen | 2005/01/11

the "cheating thing"

I think it's an ego thing - this person is only feeding their ego by testing to see how may people's affection they can "win over" it could be a lustful thing but one thing for sure when no -one is feeding their ego they probably feel like a worthless piece of shit.
They are definately not deserving of a loving relationship - people that hurt others over and over will iin turn be hurt by the one that they do decide to finally settle with. That's all it is - settling........ until their ego needs another boost that is.
Well the tables always turn and what goes around comes around. I think a low self esteem plays a major role in this factor as well. But hell what do I know?
But there could be a number of reasons - all of whcih are no excuse for breaking another person's heart.
The challenge - not being able to have what you want
The thrill - just to see what it's like
Just plain old jags/Lastig - you refuse to control your sexual urges and just have to check everyone's oil or taste every piece of cake that comes your way.
I don't know if men cheat more than women or if the women are just better at not getting caught.
Take care all

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Our expert says:
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Maybe its a variant on the hunting instnct. And Juz, you've also picked up on an important point --- some behaviours can be at least partly EXPLAINED, but explanation does not equal justification, and an explanation is not an excuse. And what an interesting idea is coiled up in your last sentence !

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Our users say:
Posted by: lizzie | 2005/01/11

as long as u are human u will cheat and men are not better cheaters than women, we are all the same.

its up to us to change for the better, becos change comes from the heart.

it makes me so angry to know that someone out there is cheating, especially those who are married.!!!!!!!

Reply to lizzie
Posted by: Juzlisen | 2005/01/11

So if you're a cheater - when is your "thirst" ever quenched?
Like the doc says - It's about the hunt, the chase for most - almost like a primate, stalking his victim, ravishing them till they are no more then leaving them to the vultures to feast ( the hurt, pain, animosity, regret, resentment all of which almost never go away esp when you've truly given your all) I think people's hearts feel like a little animal that was torn apart by a predator.........shew - it sounds strange trying to picture this to the human emotional heart.
And if you're cheated on - how many times would really forgive.
I believe in an old saying with regards to the above matter " if someone hurts you once, it's their fault - if they hurt you twice the fault is yours" A wise guy once also said that a strong person would not let themselves get hurt. I.e be wise enough to walk away before things go too far.
Allot of people honestly believe that if they seem remorseful and apologise and swear to never ever hurt their lovede again is enough - dead wrong - you never forgive of forget - cos how can you forget something that might hurt for the rest of your life - since it still hurts, you're constantly reminded of that pain so how do you truly forgive and forget. I say walk away while you still have some dignity, believe me pride plays no role here - you'll just lose respect from trying to salvage something already doomed.
Take care

Reply to Juzlisen
Posted by: mor | 2005/01/11

I do agree with both of you, and think you have somehow answered my question. I think I have been in an explainable situation, though i didnt justify the action. To me it was a mere acknowledgment of wrong doing, showing remorse and genuienly seeking forgiveness. He didnt have it easy after that, I think because of the hurt and lack of trust I couldnt bring myself to sleep with him for about a year. It was hard for him but he somehow understood.

Reply to mor

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