Posted by: Confused | 2008/10/13


I have been married for a few years now but my husband doesn' t want to sleep with me much anymore. We have sex once a week if im lucky. I read a book and tried a few things to put some spice back but nothing works. The other night i put some sexy lingerie on and i got nothing. I was wondering, are there any other signs of having a low testosterone level apart from the obvious low libido? I would like to talk to him about it without making him feel less masculine.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Several things could be going on here,
1. He could be suffering with side-effects of medication, or a physical condition impacting on his testosterone. If he is feeling tired a lot, experienced a reduction in his general sense of wellbeing, having sleep difficulties, etc., these are classical symptoms. Basically, it is worth having this checked out by an up to date physician / GP.
2. Loss of libido can also be a sign of depression...(make sure that the above is checked out first though!)
3. If there are relationship problems, he may feel disinterest in sex, or even be paying you back for your disinterest previously (if that were the case)

Try checking out if he has noticed a change in his sexual interest. You can tell him that you have noticed it and it could be a sign of something, possibly a problem with you (e.g. resentment, feeling unattractive), a problem you could help with (e.g. work stress/financial concerns), or a problem you could support him with (e.g. physical or psychological problem). If he says there's no problem, you could again tell him that you have seen a shift and that you are concerned because this may be symptomatic of a physical problem that he would not be aware of (e.g. prolactin secreting tumour, metabolic syndrome). Key to successful relationships (and therefore crucial for the sexual aspect) is a support and understanding for each partner, plus willingness to negotiate or compromise to solve problems.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Ja | 2008/10/16

If he' s looking down in the dumps, listless, getting fat etc, all the things a man should NOT be i' d check it out.
Men were MEANT to look like " Greek gods" !!!
Running around fighting Bulls etc.

Reply to Ja
Posted by: Confused | 2008/10/15

I know he isn' t cheating. I' m stuck in the bush and i have his phone and we share email address. There is no suspicion at all. But he doesn' t act like a normal man. No fantasies, doesn' t like threesomes, which is fine coz neither do i, isn' t into girls kissing eachother. Doesn' t like body paint. Trust me, i tried everything. And no, he isn' t gay.

Reply to Confused
Posted by: Kems | 2008/10/15

Your husband is very lucky to have you, I doubt his sex drive is very low, he is a man afterall, maybe you need to try and find out if maybe he is cheating ...

Reply to Kems

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