Our expert says:
it's difficult for me when someone describes a situation that cries out for counselling, and then says "recommend anything except counselling". It's like going to a surgeon with all the symptoms of appendicitis, and saying "Justy dont suggest anyone should take out my diseased appendix !"
It sounds as if he has made a possibly sincere and serious attempt to clean up his act, and he deserves some recognition and praise for that. Ideally, if both of you became involved in marriage / relationship counselling, you could be more sure that between you, you have sorted out all that can be done, and you could be more confident when deciding whether the relationship is viable in the long-term. if he really does not want to join you in such a process, ( it'd be such a convincing sign that he truly regrets the way things were and sincerely wants to get them right and keep them right ) ; then you could consider seeing a counsellor yourself, to clarify in your own mind what you want, and to work towards making a wiser and more fully informed decision about whether to invest further in this relationship.
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