Posted by: Zamo | 2009/03/02

Terrified of my first time!!

Dear Dr

I' m a 22 year old woman and a virgin. I' m currently in a very loving relationship and would like to take things to the next level. My problem is that I' m terrified of the first intercourse pain experience, however " slight"  it may be. We' ve been enjoying our sexuality in other ways than intercourse. I read up an articles suggesting I try inserting a tempon and I have, but that was too painful for me.
What I would like to know is whether you can recommend an anesthetic or some safe drug that I could take. I' m more keen on the drug as it will live me unconsious till the deed is done.
My boyfriend thinks I' m crazy but I think its worth a try.
Please help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I hear a lot of fear and anxiety in your letter. These fears sometimes come from stories we have heard. Sex is something to be shared, in a way that gives both partners pleasure. I strongly advise against medication or drugs that would hinder you from fully participating in your love-making. Take things slowly, pleasure each other with the fingers or tongue, without penetration. Try and relax into the experience. Learn to enjoy high levels of sexual arousal with your partner. During this stage of sexual response, the brain produces 'feel good' chemicals that act as a natural 'pain reliever'. Before attempting any penetration - even with a finger or tampon, make sure that you use a lot of lubrication (e.g. KY Jelly) that will make it easier. Try having 1 or 2 glasses of wine as part of setting the romantic atmosphere, this can also help to relax you. If these exercises still cause extreme fear you may need to see a counsellor.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: nn | 2009/03/03

Dont Stress honey>  By the time he gets in you will never stay without it again. Love him and do it slowly with one mm at atime.

Reply to nn

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