Our expert says:
Lets see what some of the experienced mothers among our readers have to say, here.
If I understand you, he cried a lot even before the birth of his brother. But still part at least of what maintains this pattern may be an issue of rivalry and wanting more attention. Crying is such a potent weapon, which makes parents, especially moms, feel guilty and inadequate. And it brings attention, whether loving or angry, it's attention none the less.
And maybe the contrast with his more sunny and calmer younger brother makes his behaviour seem all the more puzzling.
Manipulating the attention can help - withdrawing attention when he cries ( without obvious cause for the crying, of course ), saying somehing like "I'll come back when you stop crying " ; and at the same time giving MORE attention when he's NOT crying, saying :" Its so nice for us when you don't cry - its nice being with you". Are there more ways to involve him in caring for his younger brother, so your attention is less divided, and praising him for being the Big Boy who is so helpful ?
You are not messing up, and will not mess up, him or yourself ! Are there also more ways to keep him occupied safely while you are otherwise busy ?
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