Posted by: Concerned | 2008/07/10

Temperamental Mum

Hi Doc
Really appreciate your valuable advice that you do provide on this forum.
I do have a question though.My mum has alot of anger in her life and she is a really angry person.I have tried to get her to go to a doctor but to no avail.I live with her and am not married she does control my life in all aspects.The anger is ruining our relationship.I have spoken to her but she becomes more aggressive.If she doesn't go for counselling will she just become worse?
Keep up the good work Doc.

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Our expert says:
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Thanks for your encouragement.
The anger is unlikely to get better if she doesnt work with a counsellor / psychotherapist, especially as it has, apparently, lasted so long. But it would only help if she recognized the problem and sincerely wanted to change. IS there any option of your moving so as no to live with her ?
As maria suggests, maybe there is someone else, family or friend, whose sugestion she would take seriously ? One's children's opinions may be wise and correct, but parents often don't take these seriously enough.
And, as she also suggests, maybe Mom would be more receptive to the idea of joining you in joint counselling, aimed at remedying that problems she may feel she has with you ( while, of course, it would be able to deal with all the problems you notice with her, as well )

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Our users say:
Posted by: Concerned | 2008/07/10

Hi Maria

Just wanted to say thank you for your advise.I am 26 years.Yes i do intend speaking to a family member this weekend.You are right my advice to her is always taken the wrong way ,in that another argument is created and we both end up angry and frustated but i do want to help her. So i will try a diiferent approach.

Take Care and thank you.

Reply to Concerned
Posted by: Maria | 2008/07/10

It sounds to me as if your mom is deeply unhappy and depressed. I know that I display anger and agression whenever I feel really down, don't know why but find it difficult to express unhappiness in any other way.
Does your mom have a close friend, relative, priest etc that you can talk to - maybe if a (sensitive) adult of her own age group speaks to her she may listen and go for counselling
I don't know how old you are but it doesn't really matter cause to as mothers we always feel that our kids are our responsibility and not the other way around, so it might be difficult for her to take advice from you. Plus being so close and living with her it probably develops into another argument.
Maybe someone could suggest that you both go for some sort of relationship counselling, she may take that a bit better than thinking it is all about her.
Good luck

Reply to Maria

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