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Question
Posted by: JA | 2003/02/17

Temper problems

Hello. I recently was left by my girlfriend of 2 years. We were very much in love and serious about each other and where we were giong together. However, I am a very protective, strong-headed person who got very easily upset in some of our discussions and arguments. I realise now I put alot of pressure upon her and my short temper and sometimes harshness in our arguments has lead her to be afraid of me and eventually to leave me. I do love this woman very much and we both realise we had a great realationship, but that I put alot of strain on it with my ways. Is there any place I can get help for my behaviour. Some sort of discussion group or councelling for tempers, etc. I realise I have made serious mistakes and I do not want this to happen again to anyone I love and care for. Apart from the person I love and I hope to share my life with, I also wish not to have this happen with any of my famliy and close friends. I look forward to hearing your response. Many thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear JA,
Sounds like you've formed a more mature and sensible assessment of the status of your problem, and a realisic view of hy something needs to be done about it, for everyone's benefit. Now, I'm not aware of any general discussion or self-help group focussing on this specific and not uncommon problem ( maybe some folks tried to set up a Temper Tantrums Anonymous, but quarrelled too often to form a committee ? )
What would most probably help would be for you to see a shrink --- a psychologist, perhaps best one working with Cognitive-behaviour Therapy, for counselling to work through the relevant issues with you, and to focus on finding better ways of dealing with the situatons that prove annoying for you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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