Our expert says:
Your struggles regarding getting pregnant must have been very hard for you. But presumably they're not directly connected to the baby[s father behaving so badly right now. Why have the pair of you quarrelled so bitterly ? And whatever happened between the parents, there's no excuse for a father to neglect his child.
Lying to the child is not helpful, and not at all as comforting as one might think. You were right to tell her the truth - and her reaction suggests she probably already knows much of what you have been trying to shield from her. THe important thing is you have a great and loving child, and she has a great and loving mother.
There's a difference between telling the truth to a child about her father's disinterest, and exaggerating or dragging your personal bitterness into attempts to turn a child against the other parent. What you're doing is appropriate.
To someone in JUliet's situation, remember it is NOT ( though of course it feels like that ) that he "doesn't want YOU as his daughter", but that he doesn't want a daughter, being too immature and selfish to care properly for any child.
Chantal's example shows how clumsily cruel a teacher can be by announcing "Let's all make a Father's Day card", without recognizing that many kids have no father, for various reasons.
If you feel so clearly that your child must know WHO her father is, sadly that means she also needs to know WHAT he is, and taking back a bum isn't good for a child.
What you['re doihng with your chil is RIGHT, not wrong, and obviously beneficial for her
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