Our expert says:
No, you're not being selfish ; she is. This sounds like the sort of discipline problem Supernanny on DSTV deals with very well indeed. Ignore her completely when she moans, eg about nothing to eat --- if she's too lazy to make food for herself, let her be hungry. You are her mother, not her servant. You make a wise distinction between loving her and liking her. Make a clear se of rules which you and your husband will apply in the same manner. NO demands will be met --- requests will be considered. Ad she must have a set of duties and chores to do, to earn her keep --- she's not intended to be a parasite just sitting and shouting and getting everything she wants. Maybe consulting a psychologist personally would help you gain enough confidence to do this, and to plan a suitable set of rules and practices to control these situations.
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