Posted by: Bobelina | 2010/01/25

Teenage Stepson

I dont think i need to mention he' s ' n stepchild because I suppose this is just a teenage thing. The last couple of months in St. 5 or grade 7 he was argumentative and difficult but we ignored it saying to each other when he' s no longer a big fish in a little pond but a small fish in a big pond things will turn back to normal.

However things have just worstened. He' s wearing these BIG people clothes (blazer, long pants etc) and he' s got an attitude all of a sudden. He knows everything and we know nothing. He' s permanently looking for an argument.

Yesterday (an example) i told him to test a dvd to see if its working his answer was IT JUMPS ONCE OR TWICH i said is it working YES or NO ...he said IT SOMETIMES JUMPS....i said I AM ASKING YOU A SIMPLE QUESTION IS IT WORKING YES OR NOT WORKING NO.....he just shrugged it off....last night again there was a similar incident where he didnt give a YES or NO answer...when i explained it to him and said soooooo is the answer yes or no? he said IF YOU USE COMMON SENCE YOU' D HAVE AN ANSWER.....his father is already calling him MR. COMPLICATION because he complicates everything.

He is arguing with his brother and sister and he' s putting the blame for everything (like leaving the light on in his room) on his brother and sister.

I can feel a fight between him and me do i handle this?


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

This is very common as he is beginning to challenge and test boundaries. Many teens go through a phase where they distance themselves from adults and particularly parents, and rubbish everything they have to say. This is a very normal part of moving towards independence - a kind of testing the water.

This does not mean that boundaries should buckle when tested - its very important that age-appropriate boundaries be set - and you may need to to re-assess them as he gets older.

Avoid getting into these yes/no arguments he will always win at winding you up, but you can prevent it by not getting into it - unless he asks for his pocket money to which you can reply - "maybe yes, maybe no"! :)

Above all, step back and take a deep breath, these types of argument become very circular and waste a lot of family energy, but put in the boundaries where you need to in a consistent way with both parents in agreement.

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