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Question
Posted by: ABC | 2005/06/20

teenage son??

We are in the prosess of a divorce. (kids with me, husband abroad returning soon) My husband arranged with his parents to take our 2 kids - 10 year old girl and 16 year old son to the coast for 10 day getaway. My daughter is ok with it, my son refuses, says its gonna be very very boring. Should he be forced, i don't thinks so, what do you think?

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Our expert says:
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On anything like this, I don't think kids EVER should be forced. But talk with him about it. As kids on't usually think that a holiday at the coast will be more boring than staying at home, either he may have better reasons for not wanting to spend more time with your husband, or maybe he's found something better to do at home . And as flower wisely says, make sure he doesn't feel he needs to stay back for your sake.
If it's that he doesn't expect excitement when under the care of his grandparents, that's logical enough. Forcing him would be an awful idea.

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Our users say:
Posted by: lulu | 2005/06/20

If he really doesn't want to go, then don't force him. The last thing he needs now is to feel that you're pushing him off on someone else for a few days...

If you're happy to have him stay with you and his sister to go, then tell your soon to be ex-inlaws that in as nice a way possible. They should understand.

Good luck!

Reply to lulu
Posted by: ABC | 2005/06/20

Its not the fact that his holding on to me. He just does'nt want to go with the gran parents, he needs friends his own age, and feels that his going to be bored. I just cannot force him to go??

Reply to ABC
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/06/20

hi there

you need time alone to build yourstrenght and deal with your own emotions - the time ahead will be hard and you will need a your wits to keep the family together

let him go - explain to him thats it's important that you have some time alone to sort things out and they deserve some time away with the gran parents

it's natural for him to hold on to you becuase he wants to protect you but make it clear you him that you want him to have a fun time

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: flower | 2005/06/20

I think you should just tell him that it is ok if he would like to go and you would be ok with it. If he still doesnt want to then dont force him, just make sure he doesnt want to stay because he feels sorry for you or he feels bad to leave you alone. if you know what I mean.

Reply to flower

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