Posted by: Being a great mom | 2004/11/01

"Teenage Son"

Hi "Expert"
I wanted 2 ask you if i should talk 2 my son about sex etc.I have noticed the way he looks at my chest "boobs" & bum.Should i tell him about sex or buy him a book on sex that he can read????
I have also noticed that he masturbates (i find sperm along the shower floor & walls) & i know that it's part of growing up so i just wanted 2 tell him 2 masturbate but clean up when done.I don't have a problem with masturbation but i feel that i should be open to him so that if has any questions he should feel free 2 talk 2 me.
What should i do & how should i go about talking 2 him?????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert


it is great that you are thinking about this and wanting to be open with your son. How old is he? There are different books on the market that he may benefit from especially if you think he would be too embarrassed to talk about things with you. You could give him the book and then let him know that you are happy to speak with him about any questions he has. For books check out or and search under 'sex education'

He may be very embarrassed about the sperm in the bathroom, you may want to just ask him to make sure the bathroom is tidy when he leaves especially the shower cubicle, as everyone expects to step into it clean - this should hopefully get the message across!! If not you may have to take the more direct approach.

Being a great mom is about being approachable so you have earned your title!!

Best wishes

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ecstasy | 2004/11/06

Don't talk to the lil dude!I'm a 17 yr old girl and take it from a 'teenager' you will only embarass him...extremely. I mean unless you have an unusually close bond with your son in that some have commented on what an angel he is toward you then he will definitely only be embarrassed. It's his dad's job (if anyones since he already knows all this stuff from life at school etc).Doesn't he see his father?If the 'trails' he leaves bother you that much then just ask him to make sure he 'tidies the bathroom after he's been in it'.I know you'll be concerned but boys are the worst for really not wanting their mothers embarassing them!x

Reply to Ecstasy
Posted by: Bender | 2004/11/05

I think I would have liked you to have been my mom. You seem to be super understanding of what's going on in his life.

I think a book would be a good way to broach the subject, and yes talking to him is a good idea. But bare in mind that being in early teens is a very embarrising time in any case, and talking to your mom is not cool!

Did you consider asking a counceler at school to chat to him?

Reply to Bender
Posted by: Being a great Mom | 2004/11/03

Hi Bender; yes i'm a single mom & my sons 15 years.i know it's embarassing but i need 2 talk 2 him.I think it's better if i talk 2 him than getting a family member involved, as this will be even more embarassing don't you think?Should i tell him about sex or buy him a book on sex that he can read?I need 2 tell him that if he has any questions, he should ask & i know that he masturbates & it's fine but he should please clean the mess when his done.
He has probably just matured so his excited about the changes of his body so he should ask me questions if he wants to.

Reply to Being a great Mom
Posted by: Bender | 2004/11/02

I'm sure you're having a hard time being a mum, it sounds like you a single mum to boot! Not easy at all. I think it very rude of your son to leave his mess in the shower, but aproaching the topic would be very imbarrising for him. How old is he?

Chances are quite strong that he knows about sex from school and magazines and internet, but just broaching the topic should be interesting. Just remember, as we all were teens once apon a time, and we all knew everything, just be careful, you might make him more imbarrised by talking about it. Isn't there a older male friend of yours that could help?

Reply to Bender

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