Posted by: Teens times 2 | 2009/04/14

Teen boy 16 no friends hates school

My 16 year old son is in technical school, failed Grade 9 and already within his first term feels he is not going to make it. He feels their is no future for white men in this country and why bother if he won' t get a job. He has been defecating his pants since he was around 8. He hates his sister and even if we are calm and explain the importance of education to him he does not agree and get tearful easily. School does not help much as he claims teachers have said he only has to stay in school till 16 (they denied ever saying this) I don' t want him to land up in a failing groove and totally loose interest in school. He smokes hubbly but rarely goes out as he has never made friends easily. In general he is a great kid, has a soft heart but won' t admit it. His sister has strong personality, always has friends and cannot keep her mouth when they fight. he thus resorts to physically attacking her. Although we never leave them alone it has been difficult to stop their fighting too. I need to know if his behaviour is steering toward something worse or something bad that needs to be dealt with now???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

The first issue I have concern about is why the soiling started at 8 years old? I would have concerns about emotional issues which may have triggered this at this point in his life?

I would suggest that your son see a psychologist who specialises in adolescent work and career issues to provide him with some guidance on his future, but to also attend to the self-confidence issues and any other underlying emotional problems.

Overall, I feel he needs a space of his own in which to talk

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Our users say:
Posted by: Teens times 2 | 2009/04/16

I think the soiling started earlier than eight it just escalated to a few times a week since the age of 8 (we noticed as he smelled as well as undies were missing). I was under the impression it had stopped a year or two back but only a month ago again smelled him and after talking to him about it did he let me know it never stopped. I was shocked. I don' t have a medical aid and have tried FAMSA but they refered me to a education therapist which is not the type of psychologist I am looking to see. If I sit with him and force him to study (physically read the stuff and explain it till he gets it he gets 70%+ which indicated that he has no learning problem but more an emosional problem. I don' t know where the negativity is coming from and he did not take going to the education therapist well. Any suggestions where to go for proper help for him in pretoria area? I am very concerned about him.

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