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Question
Posted by: Single mom | 2004/11/04

Teen behaviour

Ek is 'n jong enkel ouer, wat soms sukkel om my kind te verstaan. Ek is bewus van al die veranderinge waardeur hy fisies gaan en soms die katte kwaad wat hy aanvang. Ek is 'n oopkop ouer en nog self jonk (okay nie te jonk nie, maar redelik) My vraag is, is daar 'n stadium wat seuns prontuit weier om dinge te doen, te help, ordentlik te praat. My seun is 10 en het party keer 'n agressiewe manier van praat. En soms sal hy iets slaan of breek van frustrasie. Hy is 'n kind met 'n bo gemiddelde IK en is net eenvoudig lui om te leer. Hy is in 'n wonderlike privaat skool, waar die standaarde baie hoog is. Hy kry goeie punte, maar neem ingedagte die kind leer vir geen toetse nie en dan kry hy nogsteeds in die 90% vir elke vak. Niks onder die 90. Moet ek hom los, dat hy deur die "vase" gaan of is hy net pure lui. Kyk, ek self was lekker stout toe ek tiener was, dus het ek begrip, maar hy is vir my te jonk om seker streke te wil uithaal. Kan u dalk vir my raad gee.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Your son is at the point of entering puberty, and quite often at this time there is an upsurge in aggressive and non-compliant behaviour, in both boys and girls. They can also become emotionally withdrawn and non-communicative but this is quite typical during early or pre-adolescence. This can also affect school performance. However, it is also important that whilst you are displaying understanding for your son at this point in his development it is crucial that you maintain the boundaries that you see as required by a parent.

If you start to let the boundaries slip at this point it will make for a very difficult time throughout his adolescence for both of you. Teenagers naturally push at parental limits, but it is important that when you feel you need to that you stand firm. Of course as he gets older there should be more negotiation about things, but there will still be times where you need to say no to things, and there is nothing wrong with you doing that. If his school work continues to deteriorate it would be useful to have a discussion with the school as to why they think this is happening.

Above all as an understanding mom, trust your instincts about what you feel is acceptable or not, and ensure you continue to give the message that as the parent you are in charge and that that is how it will stay for a few years to come! Firm, fair and caring is a great combination!

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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