Posted by: Daisy | 2009/01/09


I have been to see psychologists before, and somehow when it gets tough and to a point where I need to share some things that I find hard talking about, I tend to manipulate the conversation in another direction and talk about things that I do not feel all that sensitive about.
I have now come to a place where I realize that I have only fooled myself and I really need to get the past off my chest and work through things.
Since November 2008 I have been seeing a new psychologist and I feel comfortable with him, but I stuggle to speak.
As soon as I sit in the chair I hit a blank. Then when I try and think that I must start talking, I do not know where to start. I am so frustrated. He has told me to relax and just speak as and when I feel ready - which I appreciate, because before, I have felt like a failure for not being able to share.
What can I do to open up? Why does the words freeze before I can get them out? Where do I start? What is important to share and what should I be quiet about? Will talking ever be easy?
Please help me understand?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi there, Daisy,
Someone boobed and opened this forum much earlier than they had agreed, so it's only by accident that I have discovered your message and been able to answer it during my "holiday" !
This sort of evasion of the issues you recognize as significant is common in therapy, and of course cheats you of a real chance of achieving relief, and cheats the shrink of a real chance of being truly helpful.
As you have now realized how important it is to raise the issues that are truly trouibling you, why not make summary notes of the main points, to help you raise them during a session ? Maybe even type up a short summary you can give your shrink, so he can ask you relevant questions to help you talk about what you need to ?
I'm sure that once you start talking about these matters, you will find it easier and easier to do so, and will feel considerable relief for doing so.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: cg | 2009/01/09

Why not write notes or a letter to the psycologist? A friend of mine does and then faxes it to him before hand. The psycologist goes through it and when she " sees"  him they discuss it. As the ice is then broken she is much more relaxed to talk about her problem...

Reply to cg
Posted by: PureLife | 2009/01/09

Hi, I' ve been in the same situation as you are now. For almost 15 years I' ve been to psychiatrists, psychologists, and it just felt that I am wasting my time. The psychologist that I’ m seeing now, made a valid point (to me). It’ s like a boat on the river. You can either take the boat and deal with the matter (go with the flow), or you can skip the boat, and wait for another boat, with more " baggage"  to carry. Rather take the boat. I know it' s easier to say something than to do something. But I promise you, if you are comfortable with the psychologist you are seeing now, everyting will go smooth. (no waves)

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