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Question
Posted by: Pamela | 2005/11/21

Swinging disgrace

Hi daar aan almal.

Graag wil ek net die volgende aan almal deel.
Dat ek en my vrou se opinie oor swinging net van die slegste getuig. Almal praat net van die lekker en die mooi daarvan, maar die koue waarheid het ons menigde male in die gesig geslaan.
Dit is 'n wêreld vol leuns en agterbaksheid.
By die mans gaan dit net oor seks en niks meer nie, en as hul nie hul sin kry nie is hul sommer misluk en opgeruk, die vroue aanvaar nee nog dalk as nee.
Die stories wat altyd vertel word dat die reëls voor die tyd neergelê word en daar word daarby gehou.....snert, die reëls word wel neergelê, maar daar word nie daarby gehou nie.

Almal sê gaan na daardie klub of daardie plek, dit is puik, maar sodra jy daarkom, is daar die sogenaamde click wat onmiddelik gevorm word. Sou my vrou die aand besluit dat sy net wil kyk, kom karring die mans op , baie subtiele manier aan haar, dat sy dan maar wel toegee net om van die laspos ontslae te raak.
Selfs in die begin het ons dit so privaat as moontlik probeer hou, mense ontmoet wat al jare in die soort van game is.
Wat word elke keer gesê, ons doen net waarmee jul gemaklik is en vir ons gaan dit nie net oor seks of die saam speel nie..........nee ons wil graag vriende wees en bly.......sommer lekker saam kuier.
Kom ons wel by die doen is dit ‘n totale perd van ‘n ander kleur. Weer as die vrou net wil kyk of net wil kuier is almal sommer opgeruk.
Daar waai die vriendskap ook sommer by die deur uit............

Maar so leer mens.

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Our users say:
Posted by: FB | 2005/11/21

Hi Pamela.

Ek wil net vir jou se ek verstaan wat jy se. Ek en my patner het ook geswing, die groep waarin ons was, het almal by die reels gehou, as die een nie wou nie, het almal dit so gerespekteer, en nie opgeruk of misluk gewees nie.

Ons het party aand saam gaan daans en lekker gekuir sonder dat enige seks in gedagte was, ons het ook oor en weer gekuier gebraai ens. Ons het laas jaar nuwe jaar gevier, en ons het as gesinne saam gekuier, ons kinders het geswem, en ons het net rustig gekuier, gebraai en geswem.

Ons gaan nie na swing klubs toe nie, en om wel die geskikte paartjies te kry wat click as julle ontmoed is nie altyd so maklik nie. Ons almal respekteer mekaar se reels en wardeer mekaar wel as vriende... En ons was 6 paartjies gewees en een single ou..

En indien nie een die reels volg nie, ken hy die pad uit, die vrouens HET altyd n se en as sy nie wil saam speel die aand nie, dan respekteer ons dit as sy net wil kyk...maar ons vra dan vir haar of sy sal omgee om fotos te neem, en dan kry elke cpl fotos, wat ons dadelik na mekaar se pc toe stuur as ons klaar is..

Vir ons gaan dit nie altyd oor seks nie. Ons kuier ook saam en ondersteun mekaar as daar n kriesis by een is, en help waar ons kan...

Reply to FB
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/11/21

No matter what anyone says, introducing a third party into a relationship will ALWAYS cause a problem. It might not be immediate, but it will create a problem. It does not matter what the circumstances are or what promises etc are made. It is human nature to think and wonder and with that comes jealousy and all sorts of other emotions. You will be making love to your partner one day and wonder whether she is thinking about the other woman, for example, and vica verse. It is just never going to work. Quite honestly, I would never ever do it. A relationship is between two people, no more! And nothing anyone can ever say will change my mind on that.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: anooo | 2005/11/21

Yes, swinging has its ugly side too, however its not soemthing you can simply look up, often one finds these things out only when you are in the lifestyle. I have an article that was written to highlight the darker side of the scene, and its aimed at new comers to the scene. It tries to explain all the politics and how to possibly avoid them. I think being aware of the politics is a sure way of avoiding them. But tell me...what aspect of life doesnt have its bad side. Its all about balance. The ying, and yang, for every good there is an evil to balance. Same as drinking, its fun, social, and no one stops to think about how many innocent lives get taken each year as a result of someone drinking and driving, yet most of us drink and support the industry, and we complain bitterly about the clicks in swinging?
There are even bigger clicks at work, the local clubs, pubs, even in the complex you live in.
Sure there are many other factors, and the thing is, its your right, and normal not to like EVERYONE in the scene. Thank goodness we are choosy, and we only like who we choose to like. We made a very big mistake of being polite to a couple we did not like, and it ended us up in hot water, and a very uncomfortable situation. So yes, its very clicky, and I think its important to only befriend couples you do like, and avoid the ones you dont like....like run away man.

Reply to anooo
Posted by: Rex | 2005/11/21

Agree,

But what if a single female joins a couple and she is a trusted friend of the wife ?

Would that not work perhaps ..particularly if the 2 females want to initiate it and there is no penetration of the outside party ?

Reply to Rex
Posted by: Ilse | 2005/11/21

How people can do that and say it strengthened not only their relationship but also their se life, is beyond me.

Reply to Ilse
Posted by: Jimmy | 2005/11/21

And the Translation - Swinging is Bullsh#t !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Jimmy

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