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Question
Posted by: WIFE | 2007/07/20

SUSPICIOUS MIND

I have been married for 18 years. During this time my husband has had 4 affair - at least 4 that i found out about. Now i am very suspisious about him, his whereabouts - i even go thru his phone and diary. I've even tried to phone numbers on his phone. I don't want to live like this - its tearing me up inside. I know he wont volunteer information if i asked. What can i do to get rid of this mistrust?

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Our expert says:
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Please post to CyberShrink.

Best wishes

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Kadoempie | 2007/07/20

Wife, I know how you feel. When I suspect something I ask someone I trust to flirt with my husband and then they will come back to me and tell me if he is trustable or not. Off course they wont have sex but they try to push it as far as possible. I know what you are going through, checking everything and suspecting everything. Since we got married he has stopped with it. I used to ask myself if I did something wrong that causes him to cheat and I found that is a problem with him. Some men like the stablility of a wife at home and a skelm who meet their needs. They are not prepared to do to us sexually what they are prepared to do with the skelmpie, thus they get all the fun and we dont. I want to ask you if you offer him sex often. I am very open in the bedroom and that has changed many things. My mother always used to tell me if you wanna keep your vagina in a display case dont expect your husband to stay faithful, but if that is not the case I offer to help you to try and catch him. I became the skelm for him he seeks by doing all the adventourous stuff with him, somethimes I find it disgusting but doing it is keeping him commited to me. Also if he gets it often at home he wont not want to get it somewhere else. If you feel that I am not helping I am sorry because I am trying to help.
Good luck and leave a message if I can help.

Reply to Kadoempie
Posted by: Clark | 2007/07/20

i have to agree with Leez on this one.
leaving him is the only way to keep yourself sane.
do you have any kids? if you do, you need to be an example/ role model to them. coz they are seeing you as weak by staying. 4 affairs is way too much. he has broken the trust, and that is something that is very hard to regain.
I'm sure that with him cheating on you like this, your self esteem has taken a huge knock, asking yourself why all the time. remember that its not your fault that he is doing this. Some men are just prone to do these things. they see that if they can get away with it the first time then they can just keep on doing it.
he doesnt deserve you "Wife" and you deserve so much better than a cheating man.

Reply to Clark
Posted by: Leez | 2007/07/20

4 affairs?? Get rid of him maybe.....?

Reply to Leez

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