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Posted by: Michael P. | 2005/07/12

Survey-would you entertain an affair

Would you ever embark on an affair and carry on living with your spouse? If not, what is your opinion about people who do and why do you think they do it? Just a general idea as I am writing a paper on the subject.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Again | 2005/07/18

I've stopped an affair, but now we're doing it again.Am I doing the right thing??

Reply to Again
Posted by: Cheater | 2005/07/12

Yes, I am cheating for extra sex and I am liking it hmmmm But the trick is Don't get caught as others said.

Reply to Cheater
Posted by: Jass | 2005/07/12

Hi, I think its disgusting. We quickly forget the marriage vows we made by staying faithful to one's spouse. Anyone who commits adultery should be punished. Also remember for those who have affairs with someone unattached - the unattached person has nothing to loose whereas the married person risks losing his/her family. Nothing is worth losing your family over. I have been married for 5 years & my spoiuse had cheated on me but I never ever even thought about cheating on him. I know cos it'll be my soul and heart being destroyed. Nowadays people have lost the value of marriages and what a marriage should be. There should be equilaity, love, honesty and trust, if you dont have this then you are missing out on life. I actually think my spouse is the loser in the end. I still have my morals and decency and he [may have had his fun] but now lost us. We are still married but separated. Good luck to all couples.

Reply to Jass
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/07/12

i'm sure we all want loyalty and honesty, but it didn't work for me, maybe i was stupid to fall in love with a guy who had no morals but i paid ... i found my healing in the arms of a married guy for 2,5 years - i've never cheated before this or since and i doubt i would again, it's a game without rules and one you can't win, i ended it because his wife was a wonderful person and i did want to hurt her any more, but he is invoved withsomeone new i'm sure, for him i was just a number in a line of conquests, i took from the affair what i needed and it help me with my self esteem and he was my mentor and good friend he was a gentlemen and always respectful, something i never got with hubby... but it's over never to be done again, am i sorry? NO it was a good experience but not one i want to repeat

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Lola | 2005/07/12

I think people who cheat are in very unhealthy unfulfilling relationships. I would much rather be on my own and free to see as many guys as I like, than cheat on my partner and cause him pain. What goes around comes around. Everyone who cheats deserves to be heartbroken back. Its just scary now a days with HIV and what not floating around. These cheaters don't realise they risk not only themselves, but their partners as well.

Reply to Lola
Posted by: Lee-Lou | 2005/07/12

Lady Nina: so if u could choose between a relationship where neither of u cheated on eachother or a relationship like the one u have now where u keep cheating on eachother because "the other one is doing it", which would u prefer???

Reply to Lee-Lou
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/07/12

hi there

sure i've been cheated on ,more times that i care to remember
and i survived it, not without scars but with one piece of wisdom... if he doesn't cheat with me , he will cheat with someone else, so just because you're doing the right thing doesn't stop him from cheating, he will find some other willing victim - so why not?

I was faithfull for years and ohhhh did it feel good the day i cheated on him ... the only day better than that ,was the day he found out !!!

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Lee-Lou | 2005/07/12

To all of u who dont c a problem with cheating: have u ever been cheated on? Did u like what it felt like? R u sure your partner didn't cheat with someone who might be HIV positive? and if u think u have never been cheated on... how sure r u of that? i mean... u say it is fun and exciting as long as u dong get cought right? So maybe your partner feels the same way.... and maybe u haven't caught him or her the past 10 times....

Reply to Lee-Lou
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/07/12

yes,i would but i would go in to it with my eyes open and just do it for the fun of it
i would not fall in love with him and see it for what it is.... a dangerous but exciting game

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Lorraine | 2005/07/12

I say cheating is cheating. whether it be a one night stand or a 6 month afair or whatever. if you are a cheater u r a cheater full stop.

Reply to Lorraine
Posted by: Liz123 | 2005/07/12

What about one night stands?, or call girls? Does that count for an affair?

Reply to Liz123
Posted by: Powerpuff | 2005/07/12

I think it is the lowest and most despicable thing that one person can do to another - so NO

Reply to Powerpuff
Posted by: Lorraine | 2005/07/12

NEVER EVER! I think if u r willing to have an affair with someone, u don't love the person u r with enough anymore to actually be with them. Once u r ready to have an affair, u r ready to give up on the relationship, so rather break it off and carry on with your life instead of lying to yourself about the feelings u have for your partner.

Reply to Lorraine
Posted by: sure | 2005/07/12

I did coz he did! (REVENGE AS WELL) but now there is no trust in our relationship from either party...makes u think don't it?

Reply to sure
Posted by: Hey | 2005/07/12

Very few affairs start at one's work. If you are clever you won't get involved with someone at your work. That is looking for trouble.

There are many reasons for having affairs, but I did it out of revenge when I found out about my wife having an affair. The feeling was so good that I actually had several affairs after that. Men don't realise how many women out there is looking for some adventure and excitement in their lives.

Yeah, I would have definately lost out have I not caught my wife doing it. The problem now is that my wife is very insecure and keeps on accusing me of having affairs. You can never win.

Reply to Hey
Posted by: Beerky | 2005/07/12

I would do it if I found out that my husband had one . That;s for me is the only way I can get over an affair .

Reply to Beerky
Posted by: Speedy | 2005/07/12

Unfortunately i must admit i'm a cheater. Let me explain.:

The woman i'm involved with, is 49 years pld and as sexy and beautifull as hell. She makes men stand still when walking in a shopping mall. She is married to a Director of a large bank group who is 67 years of age. To him its all about ego boost when he can have her on his side. She makes him feel like a super hero because people praise him for his so called " catch "
On the other hand, she enjoys the money and status what it gives her. She is in a position where she can shop till she drops. Drives a SLK as well.
Then there is me. Poor bastard from the northen suburbs, but young at the age of 32 , well built, healthy , tall and dark and only a Gym instructor, but with a sex drive to kill. I fell in love with her, but needless to say she will never ever leave him for me, but what he cannot give her, is the sex which i can and she pays me for it by way of extra tips when i train her in the Gym. So what the hell.Somewhere in life i also have to get something.

Reply to Speedy
Posted by: Joanne E | 2005/07/12

No, I could never do that. (but then, they say you must never say never....)

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: NLM | 2005/07/12

From a man's point of view, i will give you many reasons why men cheat.:
1.Firstly when they reach the age of 40 , they normally have a Managerial position and cause they have a low self-esteem, they thrive on the attention of younger woman for their ego boost and they start flirting. What the ashole does not rialise, is that she only does it for her own benefit like promotion etc and he thinks he is God's gift to lonely woman.

2. Secondly, most woman dress to kill when they go to work and all he sees is this sexy woman with beautifull make-up etc etc and his own wife at home when he left was probably still in her pajamas looking terrible, so the woman at work facinates him. BUT BUT he forgets that his wife at home makes his lunch, brings up the kids, helps them with home work and washes his clothes and cooks him dinner. SHE PROBABLY WORKS AS A SLAVE AT HOME AND HAS HARDLY TIME TO DRESS TO KILL, HERSELF.

What amases me the most is that men always put the best of themselves forward when going to work, but when on holiday with their wifes, they dont care a shit what they look or smell like===even stops shaving and looks like a Gorilla gone wrong. ( GOGGA MAAK BABA BANG attitude. )

Just a question---is it not more important to look at your best when you are with your partner ??

Reply to NLM
Posted by: Jemma | 2005/07/12

Never say never. But I don't think I will ever have an affair. It will ruin everything. The bond between a man and a woman in a relationship - marraige or other - is so special. It's something that just you 2 share, it's intimacy that just you 2 share but as soon as you bring in a 3rd person that is all over and done with. Then you can just as well break up with your partner because nothing is special anymore.

Reply to Jemma
Posted by: Me too | 2005/07/12

I did, i did it because i am missing something in my marraige, it was fun and i would do it again. The trick is not to get cought. That can take the excitement out of the whole affair.

I got the attention and affection I did not get at home. My husband is almost never at home and always busy with his own stuff.

Good luck on the paper.

Reply to Me too
Posted by: Selena | 2005/07/12

i wud and i have, its easy, what they dont know wont hurt them, just be careful not 2 get caught.

Reply to Selena
Posted by: Shoulder | 2005/07/12

I personally would never do that, but maybe those that do they do it out of nemeriuos reasons, but still that does not justify their doings.I would first get rid of my other partner before i would be on an affair and would nevr ply it twice. But on some people they just enjoy cheating others do it for extra money ,extra sex and more.But al in all it is very bad to have an affair while staying with your partner just turn it around ang think and try to be in that person's shoes, how would you feel being made a fool.

Reply to Shoulder

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