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Question
Posted by: Miz | 2007/02/21

Support Grp for coping with sick spouse

Hi Cybershrink

We live in Cape Town and my husband has been diagnosed with two things:

Ankylosing Spondylitis
Chronic kidney disease

Could you please let me know where I would find support groups for these two illnesses or similar in Cape Town. Or if anyone reads this and has had first hand experience of Ankylosing and any new treatments on the market that really do work.

Also, how do you deal with a spouse that does not want to tell you everything in order to "protect" you?

Tx
Mizerable

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The person who OUGHT to know whether there are relevant support groups should be the doctors making those diagnoses ; maybe some of their staff. In SA we really need to develop far more support groups --- sadly we see relatively few developed by people with specific disorders and their families, and they too often only appear when sponsored by a drug company, with somewhat mixed motives.
Sometimes it's necessary to make it clear to an ailing spouse, that not telling you everything is NOT protecting you ( though you value his instinct to be protective towards you ) --- because you cannot cope with whatever you don't know about, whereas you can find a way of coping with anything, nomatter how awful, so long as you know what it is, and can work at understanding the challenges involved

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