Posted by: Jezebel Revamped | 2008/07/09

Suporting a friend

I have spent the last few years in hedonistic abandon and that as resulted in great sacrifice and having to rebuild my life from the chaos it all caused for me.

My friend, who is very stable and has a hugely respectable life is wanting to investigate all those things which wreak havoc and turn one's life upside down. He is fairly convinced that he should take that path, and whilst I would not forego the lessons I have learned for anything in the world, how would you suggest that I best support him with his desire for parties and risky sex etc....?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Jezabel Revamped, welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.

No-one should be supported in a quest for risky sex, especially not by someone who claims to have learnt the lessons of such behaviour. It is more likely that your friend may be wanting to explore alternate sexual experiences that for some reason are currently beyond his "hugely respectable life" - we all have a shadow, darker side and he may be at a point where he's needing to interface with his. Non-vanilla is not akin to unsafe sex and you need to reinforce this. If your friend trusts you - and you're able to trust yourself to act in his best interests - you could facilitate and guide his journey of exploration by providing a safe milieu and opportunities for him to explore. The latter could include facilitating his introduction to people who share his particular interests, but as a friend you'll obviously uphold his best interests at all times.

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Our users say:
Posted by: --- | 2008/07/13

Why don't u show him the ropes? (pun intended)

Reply to ---

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