Our expert says:
There could well be significant depression here, of course, but also, as you say, significant conflict with your mom, and simil;ar problems needing to be worked out ( and they CAN be worked out saisfactorily ). I'm not sure whether you are seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but if they have assessed you properly, and consider you to be depressed, it would be worth taking thats seriously and discussing treatment options, including medication, supervised by your family, and counselling, especially of thr CBT format. I wonder whether what you think of as "depressed" and what the psych means, are perhaps a bit different. Someone who attempts suicide and thinks life not worth living, is seldom someone not depressed. YOu can get people to believe you are no longer a danger to yourself bu consistently for a considerable period of time not acting in any way that would be a risk to yourself, and by cooperating fully in treatment. You realize, surely, that what you did must have been very frightening to them, and would make it hard for anyone who actually cares about you, to trust you to protect yourself, just now.
I'm not sure which drug you are on, not recognizing "Cytec" --- ask the pharmacist to explain the drug and its side-effects to you, and to give you its generic or chemical name ( often the same medicine is sold under different trade names ). Most drugs cause more side=-effects in the first couple of weeks, as your body gets used to having it around. So you will probably get less sleepy before long. Similarly, with antidepressants, they take 2 to 3 weeks to show their full benefits, so have some patience, and you may soon find better reasons to appreciate their benefits.
But I wouldn't want you to be treated solely with drugs, and counselling is definitely needed --- you would feel less alone with someone expert and understanding to talk with, and you could together plan ways to help your mother understand your woes better.
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