Posted by: JoJo | 2008/05/22


My friends 90 yr old grandfather committed suicide this morning. He shot and killed himself, but left no note. He wasn't sick, was actually in pretty good health and although he lsot his wife 4 years ago, he had both his daughters living nearby and saw them almost everyday as well as his grandchildren.
He left the house open and the family knows he planned it.
How do i comfort my friend? I don't know what to say to her.

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Our expert says:
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CP Mom expresses it very well. As the American author Stuart Alsop once wrote, "There comes a time when a dying man needs death like a sleepy man needs sleep".

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Posted by: CP MOM | 2008/05/22

I think CS can back me up here he knows a little about "old people" my mom nursed my grandparents about 6 years ago. Then 2 years ago my gran died and my granfather was left without the person he had spent over 60 years with. As time went by he just went from bad to worse, he couldn walk, he couldnt eat except pap and and

their quality of life goes, they have no control, they lose interest in reading the newspapers, books, they even stop watching tv etc.

my granfather lost control of his bowels and he couldnt even lift his head to take his meds, we had to wash him etc.

And he was a big strong see him reduced to this was terrible.

I don't think unless you have (like me) experienced total loss of control of yourself (i was very sick for 3 months, thought i'd die) can you understand that it feels better to die than to live wher you cannot do anything for yourself, how it feels to be a burden to others, the smallest thing like making coffee has to be done for you. You lie there rather going without the coffee than to have to ask something again.

I think you need to just tell her that she has to respect his choice and why he did it.

My granfather tried to shoot himself but due to calcification his fingers were to thick to get into the place to shoot the gun then he tried pills but vomited them all out.

The way he died and the halusinations ect was not a pretty sight, maybe her father just wanted to spare them all those memories.

Hope this helps you.

Love Mom

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/05/22

he is happier now that he is with his wife

Reply to almost mad

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