Our expert says:
Sounds like you really urgently need both to se a psychiatrist with a view to proper medical assistance with your Depression, and above all, a counsellor to help you work on sorting out your conflicts of interest and intentions as to life-style. I can understand that you might have worked yourself into a state of eeling despair, but it's hard to see how a suicide could do anything but cause severe pain and hurt all round. Suicide is the cruellest type of divorce. And those children need and love you.
ANY clinical psychologist or good counsellor ought to be able to help. But check out local gay organizations, who may be able to recommend some known gay-friendly therapists, who may be especially well able to understand the dilemmas you are experiencing, and help you work out a better plan for a happier future for everyone involved.
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