Posted by: Daughter | 2007/04/04

Suicidal Mother

I am a newlywed and trying to establish my life. Last night I received a call from my mother's boyfriend (not exactly mentally healthy himself) to say that she is taking sleeping tablets (rohypnol) and trying to kill herself. I immediately sent an ambulance and my husband and I rushed over to get to her. We landed up taking her to the hospital and they pumped her stomach (she took about 15 pills).

My mother is a successful businesswoman but keeps getting into mentally abusive relationships and she drinks and takes drugs to escape from her life... and I (now with my husband) are having to bail her out ALL the time.

I am tired of being the parent and I am now feeling guily but putting my husband through this. He is so supportive and loving and would never blame me, but I just want to get on with MY life now and stop being the adult in mine and my mother's relationship. I have had to be the parent since I was ten years old and I am tired of it now. How do I tell her it is enough?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its neither your task to bail her out in these sort of episodes, nor can you ultimately help her to stop this self-destructive way of life --- she MUST be seen and assessed by a proper shrink, and given proper psychotherapy of the CBT form. Explore tough love techniques, and work on a plan to get her into proper therapy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Sam | 2007/04/05

Correct medication and treatment CAN help - don't give up !
She would certainly never give on you, had the roles been reversed - yes?

Reply to Sam
Posted by: chris | 2007/04/04

I have been in the same situation as yourself with a suicidal mother but you reach a stage where enough is enough and I decided if she wants to do it she must do it... Its not ruling my life anymore

Reply to chris
Posted by: Dove | 2007/04/04

It is your responsibilty to convince her to seek help. Remember if she is drinking & taking drugs she can not decide for herself. Until she has decided that she needs help you will have be there to support her when she needs you.

Reply to Dove
Posted by: Joy | 2007/04/04

Have you ever just told her that you dont want to be the responsible adult in your relationship? and you feel like she's forcing you to take up that position even though you dont want to and you feel like you have an obligation to do so, because she afterall, is your mom? I think you just need to have a long and calm talk with her and set her straight. Sometimes tough love is the only way to go!

Reply to Joy
Posted by: Anon | 2007/04/04

I ahve no advise but i feel your pain...

Reply to Anon

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.