Our expert says:
YOu are indeed, in some significant ways, helpless, as is everyone else other than your bf --- it is his responsibility to be sensible about aring for himself and getting the help he needs, and hard for anyone else to do that for him. If a doctor believes there is a significant risk that someone will harm himself or others, there are ways to arrange for someone to receive compulsory asessment and, if needed, treatment. But that is a complex thing to set up if the person is unwilling and if they are not seeing a doctor anyway.
He should be worrying that even if at times he "gets fine", it is also obvious that there are times when he gets very un-fine indeed, and that is why he needs and deserves help. It might be useful to talk about your dilemma with his best friend, and his mom and his ex, to see what they might suggest. Though he may object to any idea that you are going behind his back -- though you might then remind him that going round the front wasn't helping
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