Our expert says:
His suicide risk is high, but he MUST get into proper treatment with a psychiarist, for assessment and treatment --- this is way beyond the sort of situation you can, either of you, handle on your own. If he has "unfinished business" regarding his late father, and he hasn't yet worked this out on his own, he will need the help of a shrink to do this properly, and owes it to himself and his father, to do it this way. Do NOT hassle him about keeping secrets --- it is NOT compulsory for everyone to share everything with a gf or wife.
It's easy enough to "tell him everything" when there's not so much to tell.
And yes, make it clear that you care and would like to listen IF and WHEN he wants to talk, but dotn't insist that he tell you why he is crying --- spend more of this energy encouraging him to see a shrink so that he can disclose in confidence whtever things are troubling him, and work with them in a more useful way. You are not a shrink, and though you care, you risk becoming like an amateur surgeon, operating on the kitchen table.
Rather work with him to find a counsellor, get him to call Lifeline in the first instance, get him the expert help he needs, rather than responding to the implied threat of suicde which is naturally bothering for you, by making counter-threats. STOP telling him what you don't like about him and what he does --- concentrate entirely on getting him the proper, expert help he needs, and making it clear to him that you love him, want him to get well, and want to do everything possible to help him achieve that
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