Our expert says:
It quite often happens that a biodad, out of guilt or whatever reason, hesitates to discipline a child during visits. It could help if you discussed with them what are the routines, disciplinary rules and consequences in your house, so as to maintain cionsistency during her visits there ( kids respond rather badly to inconsistency ). The resumptin of bed-wetting confirms that something, though, has definitely upset her. Why not suggest that the visits stop for a month or two, to let her settle down, and meanwhile you could calmly chat with her about what happens during her visits, what are the good bits and the bad bits, of a visit. And maybe when resuming visits, is it possible to arange for him to visit her, at your place, for the first time or two, so she can feel more re-assured ?
Seeing a child shrink could be helpful, as they have ways of assessing her that might more easilt discover what's going on.
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