advertisement
Question
Posted by: LOPEZ | 2003/03/22

SUFFOCATIONVS TRUE LOVE

I AM INVOLVED WITH A LOVELY WOMAN, WHOM I LOVE DEARLY.WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A BOUT 8 MONTHS NOW. THE PROBLEM IS, I LIED TO HER A WHILE AGO ABOUT COMMUNICATING WITH MY EX, ALTHOUGH WE MERELY HAD TELEPHONIC INTERACTION, SHE TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT WHEN SHE FOUND OUT. WE ALMOST BROKE UP BECAUSE OF THIS, BUT MANAGED TO PATCH THINGS UP. SINCE THEN I AM PARANOID THAT SHE NO LONGER TRUSTS ME, ALSO IT SEEMS SHE FEELS THAT MY WORK AND STUDIES TAKE TIME AWAY FROM HER, ALTHOUGH SHE SAYS ITS OK, ITS AS THOUGH HER ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME IS FAR MORE AGGRESSIVE AND SUSPICIOUS WHEN I HAVE TO WORK ETC...I AM STARTING TO FEEL SUFFOCATED AND ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR BEING INVOLVED AT ALL...I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HER, I LOVE HER TOO MUCH FOR THAT, BUT I AM AFRAID THAT SHE MAY NEVER GIVE ME THE SPACE I NEED TO JUST BE ME..ALSO SHE HAS CHILDREN, AND FOR SOME REASON I CANNOT SEEM TO ENJOY BEING WITH THEM OF LATE, IN THE BEGINNING IT WAS FINE, BUT NOW IT FEELS LIKE I AM IRRITATED BY THEIR PRESENCE..I DO CARE FOR THEM, BUT SOMETHING IN ME RESENTS THEIR IRRESPONSIBLE AND UNGRATEFUL, DEMANDING MANNER..

WE ARE 5 YEARS APART IN AGE . SHE IS OLDER THAN ME..

PLEASE HELP

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Lopez,
Maybe a useful question is : has she always been smothering, demanding, possessive, jealous and suspicious ? Or is this a recent change in her ? If a recent change, the next question would be --- what else has changed to make her become so lacking in self-confidence and insecure about the relationship ? The mere fact that you may have spoken on the phone to your ex isn't enough of an exlanation for that.
If she has always been like this, then you'd need o wodner whether in the long-term such a relationship is viable. Speak to her in a calm setting about how the way she is being over-suspicious and over-demanding feels smothering is damagingn the relationship and making it hard to remain in love with her. There's a difference between saying : you are smothering me ( and she'll say : No, I'm not ) and saying : The way you are behaving ( with some practical examples ) is making me feel smothered.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement