Posted by: SAM | 2007/03/06


I was sexually abused by my father and brother as well as family "friends" from the age of around 6 until I was 12. I am now 42 and find as I look back upon my life that every single turn I took in the road of life was affected by my past. Right now I am suffering terribly, I am depressed as well as angry. I want to confront my father and brother and I want compensation from them.
I have been discussing this in the sexual abuse post but need CS's expert opinion if possible.
My life has been tragically ruined by the effects of being sexually abused and I cannot cope with the memory for much longer.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

That you were so abused is appalling --- and totally the fault of those who abused you, not you. Confrontation can feel very appealing, but seldom brings the satisfaction one expects, but letting them know, calmly that you know and recall what they did and still blame them for it, can sometimes help. Compensation can be hard to arange if they don't offer it, as it would be awfully hard to prove in court, and the attempt could be a very hurtful experience for you, and you've had way mroe than your fair share of hurt to date. Try to find a good CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) therapist to work with, as they can help you find other ways of responding when the memories trouble you, and moving beyond them rather than wrestling with the memories each day. You do not have to remain "ruined" by those ugly experiences, but you can triumphantly rise aove and beyond them

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: SAM | 2007/03/07


Reply to SAM
Posted by: anon | 2007/03/07

I believe at some point you have to come to terms with what happened and move on. I know you may feel like that you are damaged goods and you are scarred for life from your experience. Perhaps looking at this experience as something you can change, something that you had to experience that can make you stronger, perhaps you will be able to help a whole lot of people who are suffering in the future, whatever it is, you can only grow from this awful experience. Why not do a counselling course and do some voluntary counselling.

You can turn a negative into a positive.. That Alison woman who was raped and left for dead, did it. Just as an example. She has come out of it stronger.

They can abuse your body but they can't take your soul or spirit!!!

Reply to anon
Posted by: i was abused too | 2007/03/07

i was also abused, i pressed charges but he got off on a technicallity. if you want to press charges or sue for damages i think thats great but at the end of the day it wont really make you feel better. the only way you are going to feel better is to work through the issues and memories that you have and try to find a way to accept it and intergrate it into your life. i recomend you look up NLP or neuro linguistic programming. it was the only form of therapy that i could handle as they work mostly content free and you dont have to go in depth into memories and feelings etc

Reply to i was abused too
Posted by: was also sexually abused | 2007/03/07

If you want compensation, you will have to find out how long you have to claim this. I think there is a 30year time limit of laying charges. It could be shorter, but as far as i can remember, that is about it...

Reply to was also sexually abused

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