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Question
Posted by: Mrs JJ | 2004/02/25

Sudden behaviour change in my 6 year old CONCERNED

Hi I am having a problem with my 5 year, going on 6 year old. He suddenly started misbehaving at school. He is in Grade 0. According to the teacher he throws things around in class. Grabs toys from the other kids and when the teacher gives him a talking to he listens for a while then goes right back to doing the samething. He plays very rough with his friends. When she give him something to do like colour in, then he does it very untidley, it's like his races to finish his work and other days he gives her very neat work. He has a older sister aged 13 and he irrates her for example He takes away her school book, throws it on the floor and refuses to pick it up. There has been no change in our family life and I don't know why he is acting like this. He gets all the attention he needs. Please can you help.

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Our expert says:
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Dear Mrs JJ,
I agree that it's puzzling why his behaviour should change like this, with no other noticeable changes in is life to help explain it. Does his teacher know of anything that has changed for him at school ? Seeing a child psychologist or counsellor might help, in assesing what's getting him riled up. let's see if other parents among our readers have some suggestions, arosing from their own experiences.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sands | 2004/02/29

Mrs JJ,

When my daughter was in Grade 1 a very caring teacher took me aside one day and said she did not know what had changed with my daughter, but her work had become untidy, she was scribbling in all her books. Was fighting with the other children and snatching things...... ie as you describe you child has behaved.

I asked her when she had first noticed this and she said 3 weeks ago. I went home and really thought what had happened 3 weeks ago in our Christian, happy family that might have triggered off something in my child. Then I remembered my husband and I had had a huge fight in front of our 2 daughters. We had always had our disagreements alone and never in front of the children, but this time it had just happened. During the argument I had noticed my youngest just standing there watching, but of course never gave it another thought.

After remembering this I took her aside and sat quietly with her for a while then I asked her "Do you remember when Mummy and Daddy had that fight the other day?" Of course she did and I asked her what she thought about it. She told me that she was frightened and thought that we were going to get divorced. Bear in mind that this was the first time in her 7 years that she had seen her parents arguing, and she did not understand. After I explained to her that Mummy and Daddy loved each other and we were just cross at that moment and I reassured her that we had no intention of divorcing, she seemed happy with that. (We have been happily married for 23 years - that same daughter is now 19years old)

The following week I went and explained to her teacher what I had discovered and told her about the argument, she immediately told me that my daughter was her usual happy peaceful self again.

Perhaps something that you think is insugnificant, is very important to a young mind that is not yet developed to understand. Sit down quietly and think back, talk to your child and ask him if there is something bothering him, is he afraid of anything. You'll be surprised once he opens up to you.

God Bless...... I hope you manage to find out with love.

Sands

Reply to Sands
Posted by: Investigator | 2004/02/26

Hmm. While I realise that this might not be a popular suggestion, I think that you need to apply good old fashioned discipline.

I mean, you need to spank your disobedient child. I don't mean that you must abuse the child, and I'm sure that you know the difference.

An excellent book that I recommend is "The Creators of ADHD on Trial" by Susan du Plessis. Published by Remedium cc, PO Box 31186, Totiusdal, 0134. Tel: 012 332-3734.

The book explains positive steps you can take to changing your child's disruptive behaviour without using drugs.

Reply to Investigator
Posted by: flower | 2004/02/25

I don't have any kids, but maybe he is just finding it hard to adjust to school. If he has been with you the whole time, then he was used to receiving all the attention, but now he has to fit in with all the other kids and maybe he is doing this to get some attention. Maybe he has had a fall out with the kids and is playing up because he is unhappy there.....

I really don't know, just something to make you think about?

I don't think it will be healthy to take a child that young already to a child psychologist, he is going to know that other kids don't go to this special doctor and he might just think something is wrong with him..... first try and figure it out, and chat with him.....

good luck

Reply to flower

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