Our expert says:
OK for who, or according to who ? Its not illegal, though it might not be a good idea. Maybe you're asking : is it WISE ?
What you later add reveals your real question. Many people do have sex before marriage, for different reasons, and with different significance. For someone to have had forced sex, for instance, is by definition NOT their fauly, and they should not be blamed for it, especially as their rapist will have tried to frighten them into not telling anyone, and into feeling inappropriately ashamed and self-blaming for what was not their fault at all.
What yourwife's second event meant, with the man she did not know, is harder to assess, not knowing the details.
Its an old mainly male belief in many cultures that supposes its somehow OK for the man not to be a virgin, but that for the woman not to be a virgin, for any reason, is somehow awful.
Recognize the fact that you won that gold medal - it is you she chose, freely, to marry and remain with for so many years, because she loved you. She is exactly the same woman you have loved - and who hass faithfully loved you, for 13 years.
Maybe she lied because she was aware of your strong feelings about such matters, and was scared to upset you, and really wanted to marry you.
So, maybe she made some real mistakes when she was much younger, and regrets them. Have you never ever made a mistake, and if you did, should you not hope to be forgiven ?
Apparently, she has not cheated on you whiole actually committed to you by marriage for 13 years. Doesn't that count for something ?
If you stick to your current decision to remain unforgiving, you will be the biggest loser of all. There is no benefit for you in holding to this harsh reaction. Why not see a marriage counsellor together and work this out properly ?
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