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Question
Posted by: trapped | 2007/05/17

stuck in childhood

I have this problem and I think I am stuck in childhood somewhere. I am 35 years old and constantly want people's acceptance all the time and never want to rock the boat as I am scared that I will get yelled at. I therefore would rather stay quiet and say nothing, than to say something out of turn or offend someone. When my bf gets angry with the traffic, I get so scared he is going to take it out on me. My dad used to do this!
I also dont like it when someone's opinion differs from mine. I cant handle the conflict, so therefore back down.
I would rather be a follower than stepping out and doing something that I really have passion about i.e. job wise.
What is going on here and how do I fix it and become an 'adult' with adult thinking and emotions??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You're not actually stuck in childhood, of course ; but you are trapped by a set of asumtpions and rules you drew up during childhood, and which you have never effectively challenged and revised. This is where CBT counselling would be especially helpful.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: J | 2007/05/17

I know how you feel ... I've been analysing my own reactions and handlings of life for ages, and I've come to realise that a lot of the time it's childhood drama replaying over and over again -- we always just tend to react the same way in certain situations / certain impulses remind us of a parent's way etc. We can't really help it because it's programmed into us. I do believe that we can re-programme ourselves, but it does take time and some effort. So, if we can start with small things, like doing one small thing different and then get used to that first and move on to bigger things form there, then I think we can do it. But yeah ... it will take time and you'd probably need to go and talk to a psychologist about it, or a counsellor, to get yourself moving.

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